Thursday, 15 January 2009

Dear France

Dear France


Why do you make life so hard for the non-French to survive in your country? Not being content in making it near impossible for anyone to get a job without the specific qualification, you are now trying to break me just by trying to find out my French level in order to be allowed to study on of your precious diplomas.


After not having a written reply from the person in charge of French testing, I thought I'd get more luck if I passed by the office to see aforementioned person. I waited very politely in the office of International affairs. I listened patiently when the staff were busy talking about pregnancies, bank details, cheque books, boots. I was polite when the office staff spent an eternity helping some Frenchies decide what to study when they go abroad. France, when it was my turn, I expected some help, how wrong I was. 


I was told that the establishment didn't do French testing. I disagreed. I mean, France, you wrote it on your website. After asking around, low and behold, I was indeed correct. I'm sorry for this, it obviously wasn't a good starting point. I am always wrong, I try to abide by this. Unfortunately France, I didn't realise that because I wasn't a student, the office could no longer help me. I was directed somewhere else, quite rudely, with big sighs from the part of the staff for wasting her time. Please France, if I ever pass the exams it took that lady to get her job, can I be as incompetent and rude as her? I do hope so.


France, what do I have to do to be accepted in your country? I am trying my hardest to understand but it's all too much for me. I am trying to validate my three years of linguistic hell as I didn't study your precious language at university, but it seems I am not even worthy of this validation. Imagine if I decide to go to university to do a diploma allowing me to work in a pet shop? Oh god France, I know you wouldn't know how to cope, pass me round 100 offices, taunting me with 100 incompetent people with their diplomas proving they are worthy in making me suffer.


I will not expect your reply,

yours Madam, Sir, with my distinguished feelings of hate, confusion and frustration.


Miss Emmy

2 comments:

Hayley said...

*pops head around corner angrily shaking a fist* yeah France, sort it out, or you'll get beatings!

Leah said...

Dear Emmy,
It's not you, it's me. I am just an underworking, lazy bastard who likes to torture foreigners. I'm not exactly sure why I do it, maybe it's the stinky cheese invading my brain? Maybe I'm drunk off red wine? Maybe I have a baguette up my...? Anyways, just wanted to apologize for your troubles. I will try to be nicer to you the next time.

Lots of bises,
La France

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