Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Hello, maybe we can get to know each other?! I don't think so.

What is it with men? French men? Or do I just seem to fall into paths of weirdos......(be gentle with your reply!)

I've just got back from braving the minus temperature (currently -5oc) to go shopping and this guy just walks up to me on the corner of my road...

Weirdo: Excuse me, do you live in the residence?
Me: No.
Weirdo: But you live in the area, I've seen you around (debatable and very fishy !)
........could we get to know each other?
Me: Why? (I was short of any other reply to this)
Weirdo: But we could get to know each other, yea?
Me: Panicking to think of an easy way out of this....I'm cringing as I write this.......Urrm, sorry I don't really understand, I'm not French.
Weirdo: Oh right, he smiles....let's face it, if I wanted him to believe that i didn't understand I should have made myself incomprehensable and not used so much good spoken French.
Me: Crap, that line didn't work.....
Weirdo: Who do you live with?
Me: Again.......why oh why oh why me...........My boyfriend.
Weirdo: Ok, well, have a good day.....bye.

What was he trying to achieve by talking to me? Trying to get me to be his friend? Girlfriend? Trust me guys, this tye of behaviour won't get either. If it did, I'd be on all street corners asking if 'we could get to know each other' you all know, it's tough to intergrate into French friend circles . But yes, I know this is NOT the way to go about it.....

Have you ever had this experience in France or anywhere else? How did you get out of it without being outright rude? Although, my 'Why?' reply to his question about 'being friends' was quite rude I should have insisted maybe.


Rachel said...

Well this actually worked on a mate of mine in London! She was mooching around Covent Garden and a bloke came up to her and said he found her very attractive and could he take her out to dinner? And she said yes! And 6 months later they're still happily together. Takes all sorts I suppose :) I personally would have probably just run a mile xx

au soleil levant said...

I was walking on the path by the river in my town back in October and this guy on a bike passed me, looked over his shoulder at me, then turned around and biked alongside me for almost ten minutes trying to get me to go out with him! Guys are ridiculous. I always start out with the 'I have a boyfriend' line (even if it isn't true) as soon as they start anything. Normally that dissuades them... clearly there are some random holdouts! Hope you don't run into him again.

Kim said...

'I have a boyfriend' or 'I'm just going back to the house that I share with my boyfriend' works well, but I have been caught off guard and have thought afterwards I must've sounded so rude. Another time I told the guy I was in a hurry, I didn't have my phone and don't know my number but why didn't he give me his number and I'd give him a call... oh and fake name and phone number is another. I seem to attract creepy french guys when I walk home from uni at random times in the night... some have been pretty dam scary and others just odd. Another guy I barely knew but agreed to help with his english said pretty much after the first lesson did I think that I could be his girlfriend? I was like hey buddy I don't even know you!! English lessons promptly stopped! Another guy was waving madly at me across the street and I thought perhaps he needed help but he just asked questions like where are you from etc. did I want coffee. But it seems only weirdos, where are the normal ones? not approaching girls in the street I bet!

Leah said...

I don't think I could count the number of times this has happened on all ten fingers...or toes for that matter. I used to do the fake name and number spiel, but now I just do the fake name and I don't have a phone number spiel. I have a hard time being outright rude, but it is annoying and leaves me wondering has this method ever worked for them? I mean (besides Rachel's friend) who says yes to these dudes??

Modern Blank said...

I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your lovely blog here, Emmy, but I'm a guy and find this post to be illuminating in many ways. It's a sad state of affairs when a female cannot even live her life and go about her routines without being hit up by someone greedily wishing to sap her energy from her, invade her space, make her uncomfortable.. it makes me a tad queasy, reading it. But I wanted to post to give you hope; there are those of us who possess the ability to smile back without expectation.

-brad :)

L said...

I know one of French guy's favorite lines is "Do you have the time?" It's supposed to be a neutral way to engage a conversation. When I was studying abroad in Montpellier our program director told us that if we didn't want to respond or didn't speak French well enough to give the time quickly, we could just say "Je ne sais pas" or "Ma montre est cassé". I think I said the second one time and a guy asked me why I was still wearing it. That's when the second magic sentence I learned from my program director comes in: "Désolé, je suis pressé" I use that one all the time to avoid people who accost me on the street or want to know if I have 5 minutes to hear about some association.

And the "I've seen you around" I got in Montpellier once. I think I responded something like "Oui j'habite ici. Au revoir." But then again I'm the kind of person who doesn't give the slightest acknowledgement to comments from sleezy men (of the style 'Mademoiselle, vous êtes jolie!')

I would highly recommend "Je suis préssée." It's the all-function excuse as to why you can't stay and chit chat.

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