Friday, 26 March 2010

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

... is a line from a Jack Johnson song which describes perfectly how I feel right now.

I've been away for a while and this means that things are not great in the happiness barometer of my life. I seem to not blog when I'm down and this time is no exception unfortunately. My roller-coaster of a life in France is in the dip phase of the ride so to speak.

I made it back to Wales and as I sit and watch the daffodils (yay!) blow in the wind, I realise that I could wait forever to things to change for me in France. I've been waiting for four and half years already and I honestly don't know when and if that's going to change. Of course, what follows these feelings is a surge of inspiration as I look to find new paths, but which inevitably runs full circle, and so the cycle continues.

I had an interview for a job recently that I was so interested in but unfortunately the job opening has been removed, and the company are no longer looking for someone. Good news that I got an interview and they were interested in me, for sure, but doesn't make the final result any sweeter to swallow. There are so few job openings that I am having a hard time thinking up new directions to look into. Times are hard.

At the same time, I feel like I'm losing touch with the few friends I have. I have less and less to say to them, those who are caught up in their careers, and they have less and less to talk about with me, the job-seeker with no direction! ha! It's ok though at the moment as I'm trying to avoid the smug workers of this world who rub it in with their stories of pay rises, corporate travels and freebies. It's funny how little these people think before spouting off.

Here in Wales I am sitting, waiting for the rain to stop and wishing I could go for a walk, but those words mean so much more right now.

6 comments:

Frankofile said...

Wow you got an interview!!

Amber said...

I feel ya, Emmy. I'm sorry to hear that you are down and having a rough time finding your path.

Crystal said...

aww im sorry you are feeling so down emma...I hope your time at home will give you some perspective on your life and what it will take for you to be happy. Because we all deserve to be happy.

P.S I have a blog entry from last year entitled the same as yours!!

Rach said...

Hope that we can speak soon Emmy, I miss you xx

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Zhu said...

Don't take it personally - getting a job in France is very difficult these days. I'm sure it will get better eventually!

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