Friday, 26 March 2010

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

... is a line from a Jack Johnson song which describes perfectly how I feel right now.

I've been away for a while and this means that things are not great in the happiness barometer of my life. I seem to not blog when I'm down and this time is no exception unfortunately. My roller-coaster of a life in France is in the dip phase of the ride so to speak.

I made it back to Wales and as I sit and watch the daffodils (yay!) blow in the wind, I realise that I could wait forever to things to change for me in France. I've been waiting for four and half years already and I honestly don't know when and if that's going to change. Of course, what follows these feelings is a surge of inspiration as I look to find new paths, but which inevitably runs full circle, and so the cycle continues.

I had an interview for a job recently that I was so interested in but unfortunately the job opening has been removed, and the company are no longer looking for someone. Good news that I got an interview and they were interested in me, for sure, but doesn't make the final result any sweeter to swallow. There are so few job openings that I am having a hard time thinking up new directions to look into. Times are hard.

At the same time, I feel like I'm losing touch with the few friends I have. I have less and less to say to them, those who are caught up in their careers, and they have less and less to talk about with me, the job-seeker with no direction! ha! It's ok though at the moment as I'm trying to avoid the smug workers of this world who rub it in with their stories of pay rises, corporate travels and freebies. It's funny how little these people think before spouting off.

Here in Wales I am sitting, waiting for the rain to stop and wishing I could go for a walk, but those words mean so much more right now.

Monday, 1 March 2010

how to remind a daffodil that it's a vase for one

Happy Saint David's Day! Yea right, I'm probably talking to myself. Apparently it's Immigration Day in France today, so, apt that it also happens to be Wales' National Day where we remind ourselves of our roots and traditions. Today I am missing Daffodils, Welsh Cakes, Barabrith and Male Voice Choirs just a little bit more than usual. I would kill for a Welsh Cake.... So Welsh, that our neighbours, the English do not know what they are.

Picture taken from this food blog

Anyway, changing the topic ever so slightly, but bare with me, there's an election this year in the UK and it'll be my first in France so I've been swotting up on how I'm going to vote from frogland. In theory, it's totally do-able but the form I have in front of me just gave me a little smack in the face.

You see, you have to get another British person living overseas to sign my form. Here's the sticking point. I know none. I do not live in Little Britain, such is Provence or the Loire Valley. I live smack in the middle of two expat city havens - Lille and Paris and all the expats I know here (and I'm not even onto a second hand here when I count) are everything but British. Everyone I know from the blogsphere seem to be American or Canadian with the exception of one (Princesse Ecossaise, who I have never met)

What are the solutions? I send the form to my friend who lives in Brussels?! I've just used this 'get out of jail free' card for my passport application and it was enough of a kick in the preverbial couilles. Thanks for reminding me of the lack of fellow country(wo)men in these parts.

What to do? What to do?

On a day where immigrants are showing themselves in France, Wales is celebrating it's national day where daffodils will be aplenty but this little daffodil is wilting from solitude.

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