Emmygration

The longest last day ever

2011-08-02T14:36:00.000+02:00

Well, it's official, I'm on holiday for 3 weeks and honestly, I don't feel like it, what with preparing for moving day and I'm not doing anything remotely 'holiday like' during these three weeks. I haven't even had an apero or a beer since Friday. Oh well.

My last day at work was so eventful that I thought it only right to blog about it (yes, shock horror, Emmy is posting! :op )

My last day started at 5.30am. I had to meet a group that we had welcomed during July to get them on the bus to the airport for their long haul flight.

I met them at 6am, everyone turned up and returned their apartment keys. I did the same last year on my last day. Have you ever been up and functional in a town centre at 6am? You know, I'm surprised how many people are up and about - I met council workers doing the bin round, the usual café owners and young student types walking home from a night out - one group of young people even stopped to say hi and wished the group 'bon voyage' back home.

When it was time to go at about 6.20am, everyone thanked me and got on the bus to go. This is where it all went wrong. One of the group leaders said 'where's my bag'? We looked everywhere, the bus driver got bags out from the storage trunk and nothing. We realised that the innocent group who wished us 'bon voyage' where not 3 like I remember, but 4. They had made a diversion and the 4th member of the group had got on the bus, spoke to the driver casually and on leaving, must have casually picked up the little rucksack of the group leader which was on the front seat of the bus before casually walking off. Everythig was in there - passport, money, cards, everything.

A police car (municipale) passed by and we flagged it down (in fact, one member of the group ran down the road screaming!) and I ran after her to translate. So, at 6.30am, I was in a police van with 5 police officers, going round the town, looking in the usual places to track the thieves down. The police national joined us, we rode through the park, down tiny alleys. We looked everywhere and no luck, we didn't come across anyone meeting the (vague) description I had given them. I could feel the adrenelin of the police officers - they were pissed they couldn't capture anyone, I just kept thinking how surreal the situation was.

side note: this is the first time I've had to give a description to police officers and I realise it's REALLY hard. Under the pressure, you realise that you have no idea - I had not taken much notice of the group as I hate with a passion stupid people in france oo try to speek Ingleesh for no reason - it's cringey - so giving the police a description was hard of 3 people that I had seen, and there was in fact 4 of them)

We got back to the bus and the group had been looking in the bins in the local area in the hope of finding the bag, but nothing.

They had to leave as they were now an hour late and they all were going to miss their flight, which was in 4 hours and it takes 1h20 to get to the airport. On the way to the airport, they rang the Embassy and met the police at the airport to report the theft. By all miracles of miracles, the victim got on her flight as planned with a pass from the Embassy. The journey to the airport must have been awful for everyone, I'm so pleased she was able to get the flight like planned - it really would have been 10 times worse otherwise.

But what's done is done. I learnt a very valuable lesson - I can't believe someone had the nerve to get on the bus, talk to the bus drver and steal a bag like it was the most natural thing in the world. Always keep your bag with you - or put valuable things in your pocket not a bag.

The worst thing is that the whole group is now left with the horrible last impression of our town. I'm so angry and feel so helpless about that.

That day I felt really jumpy if someone was walking behind me and I was looking at everyone really carefully, thinking 'was it him?'. I kept thinking 'Could I have done anything more or differently'? and replaying the senario in my head. Horrible feeling.

You know, it really was the longest day ever. After all this, I went to the office and then had to do a multitude of exhausting tasks in town - I must have walked about 8 miles that day. I got home 12 hours later, and 3 hours after that I had a swolen knee and ankle. Just to start my holidays with an extra special bang.

Jolly Good English

2011-06-30T18:47:00.002+02:00

In reply to amber's great post about what not to say in English during an interview to a business school, I thought I'd give you my recent experience.

I recently met a french guy at work and when he realised I was British, he started speaking in English. As I usually do in these situations, I continued to speak French, only to realise that his will was much stronger than mine. I gave in and started replying in English. I had asked for some assistance on something, and he came to my office eager to help. Great I thought. He tells me that his girlfriend is british too ah ha ah ha etc etc. I soon realise that this guy is NOT a normal french guy oo speak Ingleesh like ziss.....no, it appears that this dude had taken the ultimate step. He'd swallowed a dictionary circa 1950. He uses 'jolly good' when I ask him to do xyz..... when he agrees with me he says 'quite'. A 'tally-ho'- wasn't too far out of reach. I could not believe him! I thought he was taking the pee pee, but no, he was deadly serious. My (french) colleague saw this guy today and marvelled at his 'wonderful' British accent. Yeah, right. He's never even been to the UK - so where do you think he got his accent?! Another colleague has met his girlfriend and tells me that her British accent is well, normal. My best guess is that he uses Monty Python and Faulty Towers as his only base to learn English.

The next time I bump into him I'm going to see if he can string a 'moreover, indeed, jolly good' together. Dear lord, his girlfriend better sort him out because I've heard he's going to the UK for the first time in a few weeks. I don't fancy his chances in a pub brawl, unless John Cleese is there.

One week down, one to go

2011-04-19T21:48:00.002+02:00

Just over a week ago I decided to make a week long meal plan and do more exercise.....and I have to say that making the meal plan has been a brilliant idea. We've eaten much more healthily, I've actually cooked more and the meals have been good! A week went by quickly though, and finding myself in this week was a shock! I had to start the meal plan all over again, but it's something I guess I'll get used to. It's definately a great idea. I haven't been able to stick to it totally (friends came over one night, I was exhausted another) but all in all it's worth a little bit of planning and I want to keep it up!

As for the exercise, I have been trying to stick to the 30 day shred, but haven't managed to do it every night (see excuses above) but...

...I have lost almost 2kg in 10 days! (1.8kg) I'm rather pleased!! I don't know if it's the healthy food I've been eating or the exercise, probably both. In any case, I would like to keep it up after I get back from Mexico!! Final 'weigh-in' will be just before I go this weekend, but at least I know I will feel better in my bathing suit!

Shame nothing can be done for my transparent pale British skin. I gave up on that a long time ago! factor 50 suncream will be my best friend during my holiday! A girl can't have everything!

time for a change

2011-04-10T19:00:00.002+02:00

They say a change is as good as a rest, and as I need the latter badly, I thought I'd give a change a shot!

Remember last year, we were meant to go to Mexico to spend a week with our friend and a week on the beach, but the volcano in Iceland ruined our plans like it did for so many other people? Well, we booked to give Mexico another go this year! I'll be spending my birthday on a beach with a cocktail in hand!! yippee! Unfortunately, we're only going for a week this time because we figured the house we're buying needs attending to (more on that another time), so although we're off work for two weeks, we'll go away for only one of them! I'm very excited! Last year I felt like I didn't deserve to spend 2 weeks in a far off land as I wasn't working (i guess I got my comeupence!) but this year, hell, i deserve it! I've now been working at my job for nearly a year (as a side note, if I had gone to Mexico last year, I may not have been given the chance where I work now) and I really need a rest and some time with my Frenchie.

As a result of upcoming holiday, I've gone into 'oh my god, I'll be wearing a bikini in 2 weeks' mode, and have decided to tweak things in the kitchen and tweak my muscles also. I bought 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels who in the trainer from the Biggest Loser. I browsed the internet for ages looking at all the reviews and success stories and thought I'd give it a try! All the reviews say that you're in pain every day, but you leran to love the burn. Day 1 was yesterday, and although I didn't find it that difficult, only breaking a sweat at the end of the 20 minute workout, boy, today do I feel the burn!!! I really want to stick to it, so after this post has been written, i'm chnaging into my trainers to do Day 2. Something tells me it won't be as easy as yesterday!!

The other thing that I'm working on, is cooking healthy meals. I am not ashamed to say that I have never liked cooking and will gladly, and regulary do, leave it to my other half to do. Usually we just look what is in the fridge/freezer and then make a quick meal around this. It's very uninspiring and I always feel crappie about the situation. So, today, for the first time, we went to the supermarket with a detailed meal list for the week with corresponding ingredients to buy. Ju was totally miffed because usually I hate shopping, which means that he has full reign on what we get - meaning that we come home with random things that don't go together but are totally yummy of course. I plan to stick to the week's menu (I took ideas from low fat recipes) and see if I am more motivated to cook, if we enjoy our meals more and importantly, if we waste less food. This has been a big problem - we, like many others I imagine, end up throwing lots of things from the fridge away because we didn't get round to eating them before the expiry date, or often, we just totally forgot that we had the items there in the first place.

We'll see if I can keep the motivation up during the working week - I'll be coming home, doing exercise (eek, every day) and then cooking, every night. If that's not change enough, I don't know what is!! Wish me luck!

moving on up, moving on out!!

2011-03-27T15:21:00.002+02:00

I'm back in the UK - it seems like this is the only time I get to blog these days, so now is a good time to update (excuse any qwerty type typos) So, a lot has happened since new year! Our week in the UK over Christmas was great - we didn't have too many problems with the snow despite the ridiculous amount there was on the ground! New Year was spent in France - a big tradition where we eat silly quantities of food with all J's friends. This year was in fancy dress which made it more fun. we got dressed up as pirates, but ourt friends's won with their amazing costumes of 'the incredibles', even the baby got a costume! Every year it's at a different person's house....and maybe, just maybe it'll be at ours next year because.... ...we've just bought a house! We visited about 25 houses in total since the new year, which was exhausting and we found the one at the beginning of February! We signed the compromis at the end of February and now we are in the banks getting a mortgage sorted out. Fingers crossed we'll get the keys mid-April but it will probably be more like mid-May because the mortgage insurance is being slow de chez slow. The house is a semi-detached 3 bedroomed place in the suburbs of the city I live in. I can't wait! There is a lot of work to do and I'm sure I'll be talking about our progress! The best bit is that there is a garden (and it faces south) We promised ourselves that last summer would be our last without a garden and things have held true! This year we will mainly be eating BBQs and soaking up the sun on deck chairs!

Moving on, moving on up

2011-03-21T20:16:00.002+01:00

Yes, remember me? Yes, I'm Emmy of Emmygration. I used to blog a lot, but then I decided reading yours was much more fun and so I slinked off into the sunset, urm, I mean Picarde fog.

I haven't forgotten you blog, it's just that I've had other stuff to get on with. I'll have some time on my hands at the end of the week and I ~~promise~~ will do my best to update as I may have a few bits of news!!

Until then, keep posting!

The weepy one where I announce stuff and try to get up to date

2010-12-21T17:36:00.003+01:00

I thought this title summed it up as best as possible, although it is rambling as usual!

As my mum told me earlier... one thing at a time...

The weepy one because everything is getting on top of me. Why is it that Christmas is meant to just be the most wonderful thing in the world?! This year Mr Snow and his big snow guns have really made things difficult for a lot of people and I'm stressing about everything! I almost broke down on the way into town today, I can't take wet feet anymore and slipping on the 2 inchdeep ice on the pavements. I started my Christmas shopping today and of course the shops no longer have the sizes of things I need. I couldn't send my Christmas cards this year despite having them - I couldn't get to the post office and now it's too late. 2 Christmas parties were cancelled so we've not seen our friends, and let's not forget - will we actually be able to make it back to the UK on Thursday pm? The weather is even worse back home, 30 cm of snow in my parents street. I'm fed up of being cold, wet, dirty and stressed about whether or not we'll make it back for Christmas. Where's my Christmas cheer?

The one where I announce stuff - we can finally start to plan because drum roll........I signed my CDI in November!! I am thrilled about this although at the time it was a bit complicated and so I couldn't really celebrate and still haven't really. I still can't really believe it but I guess it'll take a while to sink in. My life really has changed since I started working there. I have so much more confidence it's incredible. J can't get over it. I still have my crappie moments (like today), don't we all, but on the whole my life is much happier, more settled. I've come so far in the 5 years I've lived in France and I'm proud of myself for persisting.

Getting up to date is tough. The one big thing I've noticed since working full time is how little time I have to fit everything in! (and my collegues remind me that I don't have children!!) Honestly, working takes up so much time! I don't think teachers appreciate the fact that they can organise to go into town, do laundry, clean the house on their downtime. Before, when J go home on Friday evening, we'd leave for the weekend and return on Sunday evening but I just can't do this anymore. I need at least until Saturday afternoon to fit in a bit of housework or shopping before I'm good to go! Laundry has become the biggest pain in my life and I've decided we're getting a dryer in January so I can speed up the process some what! I'm genuinely excited about this!!

I think I need to rethink my blogging because let's be frank, most of the time I rant(ed) about how hard it is to find a job and/or be accepted in France. Yes I have a job (that I love), but let's not pretend this means I have been 'accepted'! Unfotunately, all job stuff is off limits for my blog, which is a huge shame because I have some pearls to write/rant about! Maybe I'll find a way to share somehow....

Merry Christmas to everyone! I have been thinking about the others of you that I know in France - I hope that you have all managed to get to be with your loved ones for Christmas, near or far. Being with the ones you love is the most important aspect after all.

Fingers crossed I'll make it too! I guess arriving is the most important, however long it takes. That goes for anything I suppose! :o)

The 70 week

2010-11-09T20:36:00.002+01:00

Not one for ranting (huhum) I just had to get this off my chest. I think I've already mentioned that my boyfriend works stupid hours at his work and this week is no exception. He's just rang me to say he'll be home at 10pm. He got up at 6am today and that was at a hotel, just next to his where his most recent project is happening. So, another 16 hour day. I last saw him yesterday at 6am.

This is the only thing we fight about. I moan all the time that he regulary does 12 hour days (on good days) and 16 on bad ones. He'll eat in his car as he goes to his next rdv. He always works on Friday afternoons even though he shouldn't. 35 hours my cul.

Can anyone give me coping mechaisms for stupid workaholic other halfs? He says he has no choice, that the work has to be done etc etc but I worry about his health, our relationship, everything.

Tomorrow, straight from work, (ha) we're getting in the car to go to Wales for the long weekend so I can see my parents and somehow, miraculously he can be home at 7pm. how is this possible? Why can't he do this every nighht considering he should finish EVERY day at 6pm?! I hope he holds up on the long drive of 7 hours. At least when he's in the UK he'll be 'off duty', at least until Monday, when I'll start stressing about it all again.

I take my chapeau off, chapeau dear fonctionnaire

2010-10-28T18:39:00.003+02:00

I know I rant about them, and I promise this will be the last time, because frankly, I doubt this can be beaten.

I spoke about the same fonctionnaire department the other day, but this post should be framed.

I rang said department on Monday between the hours of 2 and 4 (yes, I'm well trained now) only to be told that the department was only accepting calls this week on Thursday and Friday. Whatever, I said, I emailed my secret weapon instead (in fact, I guessed her email address! ha! name@stupidgovernmentdept.gallicshrug and bingo -it worked AND she replied!)

The joy was short lived when I realised I needed to ring them again for more info and being sage again, I didn't ring yesterday (A, it was Wednesday and on their headed paper it said they weren't open on Wednesdays, and B, they already told me they were only accepting phone calls on Thursday and Friday.)

So, today, Thursday at 2.20pm (it said it on my watch so it must have been) I ring the number. Thursday: check Between 2 and 4: check.

Me: Can I speak to the X department please?
Her: Without saying a word, she rang me through......

and it rang
and it rang
and it rang......

I say out loud to my colleagues that they're not answering and how rude, it's after 2pm and then it hits me. My colleague says bluntly 'Emmy, do you really expect them to answer, no one is there, they're on strike.

I slam the phone down and scream! I was stunned. I had no words to describe my frustration and still don't.

The nerve of the person on Monday to tell me to ring back on Thursday when they knew full well no one would be there to answer. The nerve of the receptionist not to tell me not to bother as they were striking. The nerve of these people who send me letters wanting info from me but they are never available to receive said info. The nerve. The nerve. The nerve.

If you can work out when I should ring this department I would appreciate it cos I say chapeau, I give up.

Classic fonctionnaire conversation

2010-10-21T21:48:00.001+02:00

So, i spend some of my time at my job fighting it out with fonctionnaires on the phone but i have to admit, the one i had on the phone yesterday takes the biscuit and wins the prize for being totally illogical!

Me: hello, can i have the. X department please?
Her: ring back tomorrow, it's open between 2 and 4pm.
Me: what? Only between these times on a thursday? that's crazy.
Her: no, it's open every day between these times. Goodbye.

She hangs up before i have time to say...

But madame, it's now only 3.35pm....

Big fat sigh. Some days, i give up.

In a blink of an eye

2010-10-15T18:15:00.002+02:00

Wow, how did 2 months pass since I last posted? I remember one month and thinking, yea, I really have lots of things to post, and then I blinked, and it's now been two months.

Like many of you, I blame Facebook. It is the devil's work, it really is. When I feel like saying something, I've been saying it over there. Sorry poor neglected blog, I promise I won't abandon you.

I also feel a bit of a frustrated blogger because I could and want to talk about a million and one things, but they are usually work related, so alas, my funny stories are stored and only shared to the few.

I'm going to have to blog about other stuff, i know, but finding a job has been mission impossible and the root of my many, ok, almost all of my posts. Talking of which, I am still hanging on in at my cdd, gainng confidence, experience and oh, cdd contracts.

I'm going to back-blog to get up to date on the goings-on round here... I've been enjoying your blogs and it is only correct that I return the favour! For I know that being an expat is not easy. That we all need to know that we are not alone in our loony moments, crises and joy!!

Moving on in slow motion

2010-08-17T18:43:00.002+02:00

I'm in the homeland, visiting my parents and catching up with a couple of friends.

The change in weather conditions and temperature has been brutal to say the least - I left the south of france (more on that another time, I never do things in order) in 32oC, sun and palm trees and touched down in pouring rain, 20oC to the UK. I've been informed that it's actually colder in the North of France where I live, but I'm suffering the change in temperature all the same. I've been wearing a jumper and jeans since getting back, sad times indeed for August.

I've not been 'home' for four months and in that time the house has had a makeover, including my bedroom which is now, no longer 'my' bedroom. Mum informed me that she'd boxed all of my possessions, thrown out my school desk and dressing table, removed shelving and bought a double bed to replace my single one. Frankly, with the new decoration too, it's unrecognisable.

I'm not bothered that she's done it, let's face it, it needed doing, but now I've been left with the horrible task of sorting through the boxes deciding what to do with every memory that lies within. I thought it would be easy; throw out, recycle, charity shop, take to France...but i'm realising i'm not that strong or quick thinking!

I would definately decribe myself as someone who is not a hoarder. I hate keeping things that will obvioulsy never be reused and whenever I feel the need, I can declutter my wardrobe or house in France no problems at all. It seems, my bedroom in Wales is not so easy. Every item as a memory from my childhood, my adolescence, uni....my British life in general and i'm making hard work of decluttering.

I know I will never need, use or want any of the stuff in France, I've managed 5 years without them, but I still can't throw things out. I've got a lot of good clothing that I wore at uni when I went out that I just couldn't possibly wear in France. When did you last see a French girl wearing rara skirts and silk boobtubes on a night out?! yea, exactly. Yet, each item has a good memory, to a time when I was carefree, more confident about myself and thinner!

I've come across old photos, old friends, old books, old clothes, old school books. All old, all in the past.

I know I need to move on, I know in fact, I already have. This has been the first time in over two years that I've spent so much time away from J and I miss him like crazy! Despite this, please accord me the baby steps I'll be taking this week towards removing traces of my old life.

This post has been brought to you by the letter q (stupid UK keyboqrd!) and the word 'ebay'

Expat Q&A

2010-08-09T11:43:00.000+02:00

As Mil over at Lazy girl's blog has done, I thought I'd complete this short questionnaire that she found in a French women's magazine. The article was about expats in France.

My history:
5 years go, after finishing uni, I decided to come to France for a year to 'find myself'. Found my Frenchie instead. Now pasced to said frenchie, I am still finding myself.

What's the most British quality I have?
Wow, difficult question. (went away to think about this) Ok, I believe that education is a starting point for a career. In the UK, can you do any degree within reason, and then grow into a job once you've proved you have the capabilities to learn on the job. In France, education is the end of your career. Once you have a degree, or qualification, or exam, you can sit back and do the same job all your working life. But getting that darned piece of paper is nigh on impossible. Our systems are not compatible at all. Oh, and don't get me started with the differences in customer service......

Most British human quality....I'm an open person who wants to ask questions to get to know someone better. In France, (speaking from experience) you can be 'friends' with someone without even knowing what job they do, or how many brothers and sisters they have because these questions are deemed 'personal'.

What's the most French quality I have?
Maybe I've not been here long enough to decide yet. I know that here, family is very important and I love that. I'm very blessed to be part of a family that has acccepted me arms open. I am very proud of the bond I have with my French nephew. Makes a change from my own (very) dysfunctional family.

What my double identity adds to my personality?
It makes we want to visit more countries and learn about their cultures! I now know that there is more than one way to do something and neither is correct. It has highlighted how much I hate narrowminded people. Being adaptable is my greatest strength.

What I want to pass on about my origins?
I worry about this a lot. Moving to another country really messes with the idea of 'origins' and I really do fear that as I do not have any family of my own generation in the UK that my future children will never understand their British origins. I'll meet that bridge when I come to it, but I may need therapy.

A childhood memory:
Winning the egg and spoon race at school when I was 7. I got a badge with '1st' on it and it was (still is!) the proudest sporting moment of my life.

My favourite smell from back home:
My dad painting the greenhouse, or picking garlic. My grandad making toast under the grill. What I wouldn't give to smell that again!

I heart Bratislava

2010-08-06T12:31:00.000+02:00

Bratislava was everything that Bulgaris wasn't! It was young, busy, cosmopolitan and cultured. We spent 5 days there, staying in a private room in a clean and bright hostel.

I was not expecting the heat, and boy, was it hot! I should have guessed when I saw all the swimming pools in the gardens as we were landing at the airport but it was confirmed when I saw all the drinking fountains in the city centre! It was 35°C daily and it rained once, so hard that it provoked my gut to burst with laughter! I'd never seen such force and 15 minutes after in stopped, the ground was dry again! Incredible!

With the heat came the mosquitoes! We had to buy some spray as they were everywhere - even a restaurant one night left a bottle of insect spray on our table and we were so grateful!

We spent 5 great days exploring the city, eating and drinking very well and cheaply - evening meal 5€ per person, 1€ the beer.

We were able to indulge in geocaching - there were loads to do in Bratislava and we met another couple at one sight! Our first crossing of international geocachers. It touched me hugely when they gave us a gift of a beaded mobile phone charm that is now proudly attached to our GPS. Just one more reminder what great experiences can be had whilst geocaching!

The slovak girls are particularly worthy of a mention. I found them to be chic and well groomed. They were all oddly, uniformly, but beautifully, tanned. I'm sure they like UV sunbeds because it was perfectly even. Even with all the cobbles they wore high heels but sensibly, wore wedged heels which I suppose are easier to walk in than stilettos. And the mosquitoe bites...ouch is all I can say! I wonder if they are immune to the itch or not?!

I was sad to leave the city and come back to France, it really was great there and exactly what we needed after the relaxing, slow paced holiday that we had in Bulgaria.

Bulgaria all inclusive, OAPs n all

2010-08-05T09:00:00.002+02:00

A month ago we went to Bulgaria for a week at a seaside resort at the black sea, all inclusive in a hotel with a team of holiday reps present with all day activities and excursions.

On arrival at the airport we noticed there were loads of old folk getting on the transfer buses but we didn't think much of it until we arrived at our hotel only to realise that the said old folk were going to be staying at our hotel. I was pretty gutted to be honest. We'd purposefully booked in a hotel with an 'animation team' that offered sporting activities and poolside apereratives, so I honestly was miffed to see 100 or so old people shuffling around the lunch buffet. I'm talking walking sticks, blue rinse curls and wheelchairs. I think the animation team were perplexed too - at the welcome meeting 'so, who's here to party?!.........no reply....'yea, I thought so'.

I spent the first day trying to find a way out of there but stuck it out long enough to meet up with the only other young couple there. What a relief!

Old folk aside, the holiday was good. The beach was very clean and it was nice having the beach loungers and free drinks! Outside of the beach resort there wasn't a lot to see to be honest. We took a few day trips to see the towns and we were quickly finished. Tourism is just starting in Bulgaria and you can still see a lot of russian influence. J thought it looked like the area had just come out if the war.

The best excursion we did was a half day in a communist army jeep, exploring the countryside. Thrills assured when the jeep almost tipped over in the mud on numerous occassions. That and me being thrown from my seat twice, ripping my shorts and being bruised beyond belief. It was great fun!

All in all the holiday was what we needed. We relaxed by the pool, ate loads of good food and chilled out. I would have liked more 'action' in the end, but hey, I guess it was out of our control.

We were looking forward to our next destination, Bratislava in Slovakia where we were promised by two slovaks we met in Bulgaria that it was a young city...

Testing testing

2010-08-03T19:14:00.001+02:00

Just testing the blogwriter app for my ipod touch....

Time to deal with the elephant in the room

2010-08-03T15:27:00.002+02:00

I know I know, I HAVE been avoiding my blog. It's been ages since I blogged and although I keep thinking 'ooh, I should blog about that' because I'm so behind, I've never got back in the saddle so to speak so it's time to stop avoiding the big fat elephant in the room that is my blog.

I'm now on official holiday. The place where I work has shut up shop for 3 weeks, so is the fashion in France meaning I'm on holiday!!

Over the next few weeks I am going to pre-post some posts so that I can get up to date.

These holidays I'm going to experience my first southern france wedding and will be then going to the homeland for a week. It sure will go quickly..... I don't really feel like I'm on holiday at the moment. OK, I've had a lie-in, PJs til midday, but it doesn't 'feel' like holidays.

Any ideas on how I can get that holiday feeling, and real quick?! It's going to go by so fast, I need to make every bit count!!

Out of Office Automated Reply

2010-07-15T19:01:00.003+02:00

Back from holidays (2 kilos heavier) but apologises for my brain who is currently out of the office. I will let you know when it returns.

Holiday attempt number 2

2010-06-25T13:48:00.002+02:00

I've got the afternoon off from work because I still haven't packed for our holidays. We're leaving at about 6pm (ha, in 4 hours) to go to the hotel near the airport. We'll sleep a mere 4 hours tops before getting up to go to the airport for 3am. We're going to Bulgaria for a week of all inclusive heaven.

I'm nervous and feeling a bit blank because I'm convinced we're not going. The Mexico holiday that never was in April has taught me not be get excited about holidays. I'll be excited when the aeroplane takes off, until then, nada.

I really need a break. Although I love my job, unfortunately working with certain people isn't so fun. I'm exhausted mentally and physically and will be glad of the rest. I plan on reading on the beach and tasting as many (free) cocktails as I can.

Now, where is my suitcase again.....? aghh.

See you soon!

Amber's 10

2010-06-20T11:23:00.004+02:00

I've been tagged by Amber, so here are my answers to her 10 questions.

1. If you weren't in France, where would you be?I'd be in the UK, probably London, 5 years into a career, earning more money than I would at the end of my working life here in France.

2. You're on a deserted island with one book. What is it?Yes Man by Danny Wallace. British comic that changed my life. The power of yes brought me to France.

3. Oh crap, my car broke down and i'm on the side of the road hitch hiking. Would you pick me up? The smart broke down? I'd try to put you and the car into mine!

4. You've got the power to wipe one food off the face of the earth forever. Which do you choose? Liver, closely followed by baked beans.

5. What were you most afraid of as a child? Spiders

6. Where do you think you'll be in five years? I'd love to be in Lille, but as long as I have a full time job and a garden, that'll do for me where I am already.

7. You can spend one day in your partner's body, able to read all his thoughts, etc. Would you do it? Sure, but I don't think I'd learn anything.

8. You've got a round trip ticket to anywhere in the world. Where are you headed? Mexico. The volcano ash cloud robbed me of my holiday of a lifetime there. I want it back.

9. What do you think about hyphenated or double last names for children? No problem, but triple ? (I know someone with this) no way. Poor children.... and there's no room on forms!

10. A plane crashes. It's full of people you think the world would be a better place without. Who's on it? Only I would know, all their remains would be charred and yucky. ;o)

Looking youthful has its perils

2010-05-30T14:18:00.002+02:00

I've always been told I don't look my age. Mother nature has given me childlike skin and soft features. I should feel blessed but i've recently been reminded of the flip side.

Where I work, all year round there is a steady stream of work placement students, or stagières. They come as part of their studies and stay usually 6-12 weeks. It seems I've been lumped in with them and I frankly don't know how to get out of their gang.

I got belittled the other day when I asked at reception for something - she dialled the telephone and said that a student, I shook my head, oh, the stagiere... she said.....I grimaced (I was with a stagiere at the time, so I let it pass) needed this and that....

The same day another person used a voice that can only be described as patronising when I asked for a document from a another departmant for my boss that aparently didn't exist. I wanted it in English as all the others were that he wanted, but she told me that it didn't exist in English and that I should listen to instructions from my boss more carefully. I was less than impressed. If she'd turned to her colleague on my departure and said 'oooh, that stagiere is sooo cute for getting it wrong' I would not have been surprised.

It's so important to me to be taken seriously at work but looking baby faced isn't helping at all. You will all probably say 'you'll be grateful for your youthful appearance when you turn 40', yea ok, but it's really not helping the here and now. I am not a stagière, I've just had my contact prolonged for two more months (hooray!) and I want to make a good impression all round.

What to do? Any ideas on looking older and more credible bar starting smoking for wrinkles? All ideas welcome.

Get a roooooom!

2010-05-18T18:47:00.002+02:00

Eugh, I've just been subjected to the worst PDA that I've seen in a long time. As I got on the bus, my ears and eyes were drawn to a young couple, sharing a single seat near where I was standing. The snogging (to use a v british word) was obscene to start with but quickly descended into a bisous-fest. As it was so ridiculous, and as there was nothing better to do, I started counting the times that I heard the smack. A frigging 42 times I heard that noise and then I only stopped counting because loads of people got on and drowned the noise out. It was interspersed with 'stop it', 'no, really, stop it, and stupid giggling.

It was gross!!

I was happy to get off the bus a mere 4 minutes after I got on it. I really should start cycling into town.

4 day weekend gone in a flash!

2010-05-16T16:08:00.002+02:00

My first ever 4 day weekend in France is nearly over and I feel deflated. My friend Rachie has just left and we had a great weekend together geocaching, eating and drinking! It was my first ever 4 day weekend in France thanks to the bank holiday that was on Thursday and where I work did the 'pont' ie, didn't open up on Friday.

Yes, I have found a job and no, I haven't blogged about it for 2 weeks. Forgive me?!

Actually, I'm already halfway through my contract, good things never last I guess! Even though I'm totally ok with bloggng about the lack of job and how hard it is to find a non teaching job here etc etc, I am much less ok with talking about jobs that I actually do have. Just know that I am loving it, that it has done my confidence the world of good and that it's the best job I might never have. It might be possible to get a job there but it's not sure and I don't know how long it'll be before a position becomes available.

At the moment I have a steady, full time job, colleagues and a routine. I know there are many many people wanting to get out of the work routine but I really crave this. It allows you to plan for the future, to organise your home life. All my working experiences in France have been the complete opposite and that's what killed me off.

Here's to the routine, and here's hoping that I can find a way to keep it.

Mexico.....actually.....not at all.

2010-05-04T18:56:00.002+02:00

I've taken my time in writing this one because well, it was hard to. But now I have to replace a post on my blog that I see each time I log in telling me that I'll be in Mexico in 4 days.

We never made it.

We all know about the Ash Cloud blah blah blah. A little text mmessage from Air France at midnight, 12 hours before our flight confirmed that we would not indeed be going as the flight was cancelled. ps, please don't bother turning up to the airport. agggh

We did the waiting at the travel agents, we talked about the possibilities, J tried to postpone his holidays, and then we gave up. We cancelled our holiday and with very limited possibilities available to us and a very VERY heavy heart, we got the ferry to the UK for our urrm, dream holiday.

We had a nice time don't get me wrong but instead of spending my birthday on a white sandy beach with unlimited cocktails at our 5* hotel, I spent it in Wales, oh hoy, it rained for the pleasure. gutted!

The nearest I got to Mexico this year was the card my mum hd bought for me. She almost didn't give it to me after what happened but I'm glad she did! It at least made me laugh.

Now, back in France, we are still none the wiser to whether or not we'll get refunded. Good times indeed.

2cm

2010-04-13T15:06:00.004+02:00

I've now had over 30 physio sessions and my prescription only has one session left so I thought I'd measure my legs again to see the progress with my muscles. My left leg has grown in size of 2cm since I started, the calf and the thigh! I guess it could be fat but as I've actually lost weight since Christmas (the post binge comedown) I'll call the 2cm muscle! The only slight problem is that my right leg has actually got bigger by 2cm too but you can't have it all! I'm very happy to see a difference with all the work I've been doing on it!

I've just got my prescription for 6 months more of sessions so hopefully I'll see some more improvement. I feel much more stable generally and I know I can lift more weight with my left leg. I started by lifting 0.5 kg (no, that is not a typo) and now I'm up to 3kg with ease. My balance has improved too which is good.

I still haven't started stretching out my Achilles tendon as the kiné won't let me. This is definitely a tortoise of a race. I have to improve my balance and thigh strength before working on my tendon and my calf muscle so says the kiné. I really hope I can start working on building up muscle bulk on my left leg soon!!

This image shows that the tendon and calf muscle are connected. Explains why my muscle is tiny since my Achilles tendon doesn't stretch much. I can't work my calf muscle!

The summer is always a bit of a stress for me in the wardrobe department as I have to flash my uneven legs. This year I can't even get a warm up period to get used to flashing. In 4 days, my imperfections and I will be in Mexico!

Mexico...actually.

2010-04-06T15:41:00.004+02:00

Almost 5 years ago I moved to France and as I opened the door to my shared accommodation for the first time, I was greeted by Damian, the Spanish language assistant from Mexico. He too was spending a year in frogland and although the beginnings were a little tentative, we soon became firm friends and up to this day, we call each other petite soeur and grand hermano, we speak on msn and skype and I always send him a birthday card. :o) I cherish the bracelet he gave me the day we went our separate ways 4 years ago and I still have in my purse the pesos coins he gave me.

In fact, it is because of Damian that J and I are together. Damian knew J before I did, and he often mentioned that J had asked after me. I didn't think much about it, and we never seemed to be in the same place at the same time, but near the end of my year there, I went out with Damian and J was there...Damian was less than discrete and I felt a bit embarrassed but we got talking and well, the rest is history as they say. Damian obviously had a bit of intuition!

J and I have always said we'd love to go to Mexico and well, in less than two weeks, we will be there! We are spending one week with Damian in his town of Aguascalientes in the west of Mexico, inland, and then we fly over to Playa del Carmen near Cancun where we're staying in a Hotel all inclusive.

I.can.not.wait

I have never been out of Europe and so the flight will be an experience! We fly to Mexico City and then we have to take an internal flight to where Damian lives. The day we go to Playa-del-Carmen involves two more internal flights.

I wrestle with feelings of guilt about going because I don't feel I deserve this amazing opportunity due to not working etc etc but I won't dwell on this here. There are too many positive and exciting things to write about too but I know what I'm looking forward to the most. You know the beginning sequence of Love Actually (Hugh Grant film) where you see happy reunions at airports with a powerful message about loving?! Well, it gets me in the back of the throat every time. Watch me run when I see Damian at the airport.... and then the tears of happiness that join me soon after.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

2010-03-26T14:55:00.003+01:00

... is a line from a Jack Johnson song which describes perfectly how I feel right now.

I've been away for a while and this means that things are not great in the happiness barometer of my life. I seem to not blog when I'm down and this time is no exception unfortunately. My rollercoaster of a life in France is in the dip phase of the ride so to speak.

I made it back to Wales and as I sit and watch the daffodils (yay!) blow in the wind, I realise that I could wait forever to things to change for me in France. I've been waiting for four and half years already and I honestly don't know when and if that's going to change. Of course, what follows these feelings is a surge of inspiration as I look to find new paths, but which inevitably runs full circle, and so the cycle continues.

I had an interview for a job recently that I was so interesred in but unfornately the job opening has been removed, and the company are no longer looking for someone. Good news that I got an interview and they were interested in me, for sure, but doesn't make the final result any sweeter to swallow. There are so few job openings that I am having a hard time thinking up new directions to look into. Times are hard.

At the same time, I feel like I'm losing touch with the few friends I have. I have less and less to say to them, those who are caught up in their careers, and they have less and less to talk about with me, the jobseeker with no direction! ha! It's ok though at the moment as I'm trying to avoid the smug workers of this world who rub it in with their stories of payrises, corperate travels and freebies. It's funny how little these people think before spouting off.

Here in Wales I am sitting, waiting for the rain to stop and wishing I could go for a walk, but those words mean so much more right now.

how to remind a daffodil that it's a vase for one

2010-03-01T17:52:00.006+01:00

Happy Saint David's Day! Yea right, I'm probably talking to myself. Apparently it's Immigration Day in France today, so, apt that it also happens to be Wales' National Day where we remind ourselves of our roots and traditions. Today I am missing Daffodils, Welsh Cakes, Barabrith and Male Voice Choirs just a little bit more than usual. I would kill for a Welsh Cake.... So Welsh, that our neighbours, the English do not know what they are.

Picture taken from this food blog

Anyway, changing the topic ever so slightly, but bare with me, there's an election this year in the UK and it'll be my first in France so I've been swotting up on how I'm going to vote from frogland. In theory, it's totally do-able but the form I have in front of me just gave me a little smack in the face.

You see, you have to get another British person living overseas to sign my form. Here's the sticking point. I know none. I do not live in Little Britain, such is Provence or the Loire Valley. I live smack in the middle of two expat city havens - Lille and Paris and all the expats I know here (and I'm not even onto a second hand here when I count) are everything but British. Everyone I know from the blogsphere seem to be American or Canadian with the exception of one (Princesse Ecossaise, who I have never met)

What are the solutions? I send the form to my friend who lives in Brussels?! I've just used this 'get out of jail free' card for my passport application and it was enough of a kick in the preverbial couilles. Thanks for reminding me of the lack of fellow country(wo)men in these parts.

What to do? What to do?

On a day where immigrants are showing themselves in France, Wales is celebrating it's national day where daffodils will be aplenty but this little daffodil is wilting from solitude.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

2010-02-15T11:10:00.001+01:00

We went to the picardie coast yesterday. We found cailloux (pebbles) at Cayeux sur mer and just up the coast we visited the seins (breasts) in St Valéry. See bottom left picture. hehe. We thought about going to le crotoy (pronounced crotte-roi) but decided against it! Funny to see there's a Brighton in France too!

I had a lovely day with J and I found a heart shaped pebble!

The joy of tiled floors.

2010-02-11T16:13:00.004+01:00

Just as I found tiled floors cold and unhomely when I first came to France, J found the extensive carpet usage in my parents' house unhygienic and dirty.

I've just spent a good two hours moving all the furniture, sweeping, mopping the floor and waiting it to dry and the putting al the furniture back and I was thinking about the pros and cons of the French love of tiled floors. I'm used to it now but still don't think it's very homely. True, it's more hygienic than carpets - just sweeping then mopping proves that - the water is diiiiirty, but it's such a pain having to move all the furniture and then wait forever for the floor to dry when with a hoover you can just lift up chairs briefly while you hoover under them, and of course, no drying time is necessary.

When I'm at my parents' house, I love nothing more than lying on the carpet in front of the fire but that simply doesn't happen here in France. As I'm used to carpets underfoot I still find it difficult to wear slippers all the time in France and if I ever walk barefoot in front of my MIL she freaks out big time 'You'll catch a cold walking barefoot you know' she muses. This comes from a woman who practically wears snowboots in the winter in the house. Of course with carpets, no need for snowboots.

Do you have tiled floors? Love them or hate them?

when the classroom does strange things to adult learners

2010-02-04T14:16:00.005+01:00

I've been having weekly French lessons for the past few months at the adult education centre (thanks L for finding them for me despite you being the other side of the country) and today I realised that despite everyone in the class ranging from 20 - 35 years old, the classroom brings out the inner child in most people.

OK, we sit around, listen to the instructor, do our exercises like in a school, but when we have a question we get to call out to the instructor by her first name, and there's no hand in the air. But, I witnessed such a typical classroom situation today - people started getting competitive when answering questions on a comprehension exercise. I mean, when the instructor asked us if we needed to hear the CD again, one girl shouted out 'Well, I've answered them all' and put her pen down. Ha! Then when we were going through the correction, people started shouting out their answers, trying to be louder than the next! And funniest of all, the girl who sat next to me actually did the clenched fist thing with the simultaneous 'ouuuui' when she got a particularly difficult question correct. Come on guys, I thought we had gone through and come out of this behaviour at school?!
It's strange what the classroom brings out in people, even those who have all their wisdom teeth, a mortgage and probably children.

Shopping in your PJs in France?

2010-01-28T18:11:00.007+01:00

When reading this BBC article that a supermarket in Wales has banned customers shopping in their PJs or barefoot, I shook my head in shame*, how could this 24 year old mum of two let herself go to that extent? Then it suddenly dawned on me that I had really changed.

I mean, when the postman passes and I hear the clanging on our postbox, I seriously consider whether to open the door or not. I am inevitably in my PJs when he comes by and I prepare the postbox key from the comfort of the house in order to make the action as swift as possible. Shock horror imaging that a neighbour might spot me in my PJs. I have changed. Leaving the house is an event in France, even to open the postbox. When leaving the house to go to the kiné, supermarket, gyneco, make up has to be on, hair kind of set and I would never ever consider leaving my jogging bottoms on to leave the house, totally out of ze question.

What has happened to me? I was once that woman in the supermarket...at uni I went to the supermarket in slippers, no problem. I once went with my friend who was wearing PJ bottoms and rabbit shaped fluffy slippers and we didn't care one bit.

France has changed me, and I didn't see it coming.

*listen to the short interview with said woman on the BBC article. wonderful Welsh accent. What angle do you think the interviewer was actually going for?!!

Miss Achilles

2010-01-20T18:03:00.007+01:00

The story goes that Achilles was weakest at his tendon in his heel and I know how he felt! (photo ) When I was 17, I had my Achilles tendon lengthened. I've had problems all my life walking etc etc and I was happy to get it done. I remember the specialist saying that if I never had it done, I would never be able to going skiing. Well, that was that, I didn't want to be held back in any way shape or form, so I had the op*. It was successful and although I could walk better, my leg was very weak after a lifetime of not being used properly. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it was never really dealt with with in the aftercare and as I've got older, it's become more and more of a problem for me. I have zero balance on that leg, can hardly move my toes and my leg is much less muscly than the other one making me very conscience of it.

I finally decided to ask my doctor about it here in France and I'm so pleased I did as I'm finally getting the care I never had all those years ago. I'm going to the kiné (physiotherapist) twice a week and I've had an insole made for my shoe. I've been told that the weak leg will never look like the other one but I'm so motivated in trying! I have pool exercises to do with the kiné and loads of balance exercises that are also adapted to gereactic patients recovering from hip operations apparently! ha!

The best bit is that because it's a lifelong problem, I've got permission for free kiné sessions for 5 years. I can go 2 or 3 times a week and the cost is taken care of. My achilles tendon is complaining about this deal but I couldn't be happier! Someone has taken it upon themselves to help me and I'm giving it a good go! At the moment my tendon is 'awakening' (the kiné's word not mine) and it collapses about once a day. If you've even had Achilles tendon problems you'll be wincing right now. If you haven't, let's just say my leg gives way and I find myself on the floor. Not pretty in a supermarket! The pain goes instantly afterwards and I can pick myself up and carry on like nothing's happened making me look like a loon! I hope it doesn't last and that my leg gets stronger quickly!

I have a lot of work ahead of me, probably years but I've never been more motivated about it. I have to work on lengthening my muscles and my tendon, and then creating muscle bulk over my whole leg. I thought my dodgy leg was a done deal. Being thrown a possibility to change things is probably the best possibility I'll ever get!

(*as a side note, I went skiing last year for the first time and couldn't snow plough - I didn't have the muscle to move my leg in the appropriate direction...kinda vital knowing how to stop right? much to the pain of my friend who had to ski me down the mountain; I held onto his waist and he skied for the both of us - what goes up, must come down eh?! I won't be trying it again for a while!!)

You know you're a grown up when (during the sales) ....

2010-01-09T23:15:00.004+01:00

... you rush to the bedding section of the department store and are delighted that it's buy one get one free on sheets and pillow cases, and hence buy in bulk.

... and also when the feeling of sleeping in a bed in new sheets and new pyjamas cannot be beaten.

New Year honesties

2010-01-05T13:34:00.004+01:00

Christmas and New Year has been and gone. I've not posted, but I've enjoyed following your blogs, to see how you see Christmas and what the New Year means to you.

I finished my job just before Christmas and I have mixed feelings about it. My contract was up and my boss did offer me a new one but I turned it down. He had too many flaws that made it impossible for me to stay. He has now had 5 different employees in 4 months, and he really should take note of that. It was never going to be a permament thing and I'm glad of the experience. It's given me confidence, which was so badly needed, and I'm going to use this in order to move forward this year.

We spent New Year in Wales and as usual, stayed in. I was so happy to go home, and I really relaxed and slept a lot.

Coming back to France wasn't too difficult, as difficult goes. You know, however much you love and adore your parents, it's nice to go back to do things your way.

So, do I have any New Years resolutions? Not really. I can't be bothered. It's not that I'm lazy, or that I won't keep them, it's just that I've come to realise that I always get let down by them. I had a really miserable first six months of 2009 and I suppose I'm in a better place than 12 months ago, but by no means have I arrived. I still have a lot of work to do, mainly dealing with the arch nemisis that is finding a J.O.B. Optimisn and hope? Move over to let realism and honesties pass please.

this fonctionnaire made me laugh today, but the dream is dead

2009-12-07T16:23:00.003+01:00

As I am sitting in front of a concours issued secretary at a university today I couldn't help but be blinded by the ironic string of words that were leaving her mouth.

I went there for some more information on a course that I'm interested in doing next year. My careers mentor at the ME of F asked me to get some more information on the course in order to determine what type of jobs graduates do, how many of them find jobs afterwards etc. Kinda important stuff right?! Well, it seems that these questions really cheesed this fonctionnaire off. She said that it wasn't information to be given out and she said that it was the first time anyone had asked, and totally didn't see the importance of why I was asking. I gritted teeth and explained that it was my career mentor that advised me to find out this information in order to create my project, but no, she still thought I was rude and even seemed peeved that I'd mentioned this career mentor.

I knew it was time to leave when she accused me of just wanting to be told what course to take, that she couldn't tell me what I should do, that it was for me to construct my dream and that they were just the people to enable me to follow said dream. Haha? Dream? So, you being a fonctionnaire, who had to sit a concours in order to be then 'placed' in a department of probably not even your choice, you have the right to talk to me about following your dreams? My cul.

I left saying that I might sign up for the course once I'd defined my 'dream' and forced a bonne journée. I know I shouldn't be angry or upset about this hollow woman, but I can't help it. She really annoyed me. How dare she talk to me about dream jobs when the country where I find myself doesn't recognise my degree and won't allow me to sign up to a course that needs (the French) highschool diploma despite already having a bachelors? I'm just trying to save time by asking what type of jobs I would be able to do with certain diplomas under my belt. There is no way I am going to do another degree or diplmoa if the final outcome is unknown. I don't think that is stupid or rude to ask.

Unfortunately, if I do decide to do this degree, I'll have to go through her in order to get signed up and something tells me her concours certifucate will make my route there less than smooth.

Are you doing your dream job or did you settle for something else now you are in France? I would be interested to find out!

My good manners are wasted in France

2009-12-02T20:14:00.003+01:00

I'm sorry Mum, you raised me well, spent 18 years forming me into a human being who respects rules and other people and taught me the art of politeness. I'm sorry I moved to France and all your hard work was wasted, that no one appreciates it.

In the bus queue yesterday, I hovered back as the bus rolled up to allow an eldery lady pass in front of me. The people behind me sighed loudly and pushed past me muttering that I was holding them up. The poor old lady got on last.

Today, again on the bus, I was the first at the bus stop, and was waiting ages for the bus. I was in the place to get on the bus first but yet as the bus pulled up, every single last person surged forwards leaving me to get on last and as a result, not get a seat.

It really drives me mad this behaviour. I almost want to shout out something but I know that this behaviour is quite normal in France. I always stand up too for elderly people or heavily pregnant women but I am totally in the minority.

You just can't change how you were brought up I guess.

The joke is on my Carte Vitale

2009-11-26T17:17:00.003+01:00

I laughed out loud when I inserted my Carte Vitale into the machine at the pharmacy this morning, but to be honest I didn't expect anything different. 'Your card no longer works, please see the relevant authorities'.

I've had a hate-hate relationship with my carte vitale throughout my French life and now I can finally laugh in it's face at its uselessness.

When I lived in the North, I got my health insurance number like we all do and got my first green health insurance card or my 'carte vitale'. Great, that's done then. Oh no...

When I moved to the neighbouring departément picardie I never gave it a thought. After all, health insurance is a national scheme right? My card was going to work right? Wrong. I found out the painful way when I was admitted to hospital with a suspected burst appendix. 'Madame, your card isn't working (how are we going to prove you have the right to heqlth care??)' What? You can imagine the fall out that caused at the hospital.

With investigation, I found that you had to update your carte vitale at pharmacies anytime anything changes in your life....you move, change mutuelle etc. I also found that if your card couldn't be updated, you had to get a new one.

Wait a minute...why wouldn't your card be able to be updated? Surely that's the point of the machines to connect to the national database?! Ha, not so fast. With a shrug only a French fonctionnaire could manage I was told that moving departments 'sometimes' means getting a new card. Fine I thought, let's just it over with, fill in the forms and wait 4 months for the new card.

(As a side note, what do you think happens to the information on the old card? Is it just lost, forgotten about? Like my medical history doesn't matter? It's definately not on my new card that's for sure. Worringly really)

Annnyway, I knew the next battle was coming when I decided to get out of Education Nationale. You see, teachers get their own super special branch of health insurance called the MGE of N. Same carte vitale, totally different approach. Not to mention their super dooper mutuelle to help pay for health care. Not being a teacher anymore meant changing over to the general scheme CPA of M.

I was ready for the battle. I went to the office in town and explained that I was no longer a teacher (the woman looked at me like I'd just said I'd met santa...no one quits being a teacher) and I got all the paperwork to fill in. I recently received a letter saying 'You have been informed that it's possible to update your card, please do so'. Great I thought. They say it's possible, it must be. Zoom forward to the first paragraph of this post.

Please, was I really going to believe a bit of French paperwork saying that something was possible? No, I'm wiser than that. So, what's next in my Carte Vitale story? I will be sending off for my third carte vitale in 4 years. Unfortunately they have just started putting photos on them so that's something else to do. J had to get a new card too recently when he changed his official doctor to a local one. He waited 6 whole months for his so I won't be holding my breathe that I'll be getting mine anytime soon. He couldn't even fill in the form to get one as his request was in the 'system' and he had to wait to receive the form in the post, and wait he did.

I'd like to take this moment to remember all my medical history that has been lost and hope that one day a doctor won't need this information for alas, it went to carte vitale heaven.

The carte vitale. Not so vital after all.

As I was saying....

2009-11-18T12:00:00.002+01:00

... In my last post yesterday about how I've given up on my nationality and having loads of things to write about but not being able to......Yesterday I had a typical example of how I am received in the shop that I just had to share. At one point yesterday I was asked to explain the finer details of custard to a woman (yes, my life is stimulating) and after doing so, she turned to my boss and said, and I quote 'c'est une anglaise?' He just did his usual (unfunny, and not necessary) thing of 'no, she's Welsh' but I mean.....come on? What was more insulting? The fact that she turned and asked my boss if I was English, or that fact that she used 'c'est' (it) rather than 'she' or even that I didn't actually get angry until I thought about it. It's happened before (I may or may not have blogged about it about it happening in a lav-matic a few years ago) but seriously, I just helped this woman, and I was standing right in front of her. I can accept 'oooh, you're English, where abouts?' and I've even known to crack a smile for 'oh, it's not only the products that have been exported' but just don't insult my intelligence by asking my boss if I'm English when I've just helped you choose your Baked Beans. OK?

Bouche Cousue

2009-11-17T13:57:00.002+01:00

Things are fine here, and despite what the lack of blogging suggests, I actually have loads of things to blog about but alas, can't because it is all job related.

Working has opened my eyes to a lot of things, exposed me to loads of experiences (good and bad) and has confirmed above all that teaching is not for me. It's been heaven not preparing lessons and even though I work all day saturday which is a bummer, I'm all up for going out in the evening - that never happened even when I was teaching.

All in all, I'm a lot better - my mood is infinitively better, I have more energy and I cope much more with everyday tasks. All these things were difficult a few months ago. J has seen a huge difference in me too and the dynamics between us have totally changed for the better!

Being bouche cousue about my job is quite hard. Working in a shop that sells British products provides masses of sketch show material....I'm compiling it as I speak!! Try explainig Marmite or Jelly or Lemon Curd to a very suspicious audience.... or that there are many types of curries......or most annoyingly that Le Welsh is uuur, Welsh and not English and that cheddar is not orange. Don't even ask me how I'm coping with my nationality. I just say 'oui' when I am asked 200 times a day 'Are you 'anglaise'. Sometimes a girl has to accept defeat.

The perils of food shopping in the rain

2009-11-05T17:41:00.003+01:00

This is quite possibily my least favourite activity and one in which I have just gone through, with predictable outcomes. I'm soaked, clammy, have sore arms and am rather cheesed off.

You see, the formula goes like this: heavy bags x waiting for bus + attempting to maintain balance with said heavy bags whilst on bus = no fun at all. Added to this is the fact that the buses become saturated with people when it's raining and the floors get slippery and aggghhhh. Has anyone noticed how people smell worse in the rain too? It's like wet dog syndrome. As well as being up close and personal with people you'd much rather not be, you get to smell their wet cigarette smokey coats or damp leather jackets, or worse. yuck.

I'm just thankful it's not a permament occurence. It's just it's happening a lot recently as J is away all week long with work and will be for weeks to come.

One consolation today - at least I now have something nice to eat for tea!! Just got to dry out beforehand to enjoy it!

One of those (good) days...

2009-10-28T10:12:00.002+01:00

At the weekend, J's brother, girlfriend and 17 month old baby C came to visit for the holidays. It was a big event considering they live the other end of France now and only come back for holidays. C got baptised in the summer and as a lot of the family couldn't go (too far) J's mum decided to celebrate their arrival this time around.

So, on Sunday, 32 of us piled into the dining room for 4.30pm precise and we ate 'navettes' (long sandwich rolls - ham, cheese and paté bien sur) and had yummy cake and champagne. I used to get overwhelmed at family events but I cope great now following conversations and chatting away to my neighbour. And I didn't even think about having to bise 31 people.....haha

I am still amazed at how big J's family is. 32 was just the close family - and J's mum is an only child! If I had the same party in the UK, we would be 14 - including aunts, uncles, cousins and babies (and me and J!)

I was also amazed to see how baby C is developing. I last saw him two months ago and he's now started to talk - he knows me and calls me 'tata' (auntie). Coming from a tiny family, I've never had the experience of babies that know who you are and it really touched me. Much more so as it's in French, in France, in my new life that I'm creating for myself. If ever there was a moment where I realised that I'm here, that I'm doing it in France, it was the moment I heard C call me tata. *grin*

When did you realise you were 'doing it' in France?

My next knitting project begins...

2009-10-19T10:06:00.002+02:00

Here is the start of what will be a very long knitting project. It will become a bedspread or a blanket one day. It'll probably take me until winter 2010-2011 to complete! eep.

A labour of love is born.

PSBs - Personal space bubbles

2009-10-14T19:31:00.003+02:00

I was once queueing with my best friend Rachie to go up the Eiffel Tower and I exclaimed that my bubble in which I don't like people to enter had well and truly popped. We were squashed in the queue and as I remember, a short dude (shorter than me!) behind me might as well have been sharing my own trouser legs - he was that close. Rachel laughed loads at the time and I have had problems with this ever since.

Everyone has a different shape bubble that they choose to claim as their own personal space. That day at the Eifffel Tower I decided mine was very large behind me, smaller at the sides, and larger again at the front. Confused?

What I'm trying to say is that I get very uncomfotable when people enter into this space that I choose to claim but it's obvious that some people have large bubbles, like me, others are walking around in shrink wrap. You know what I mean?

I'm talking about this as someone who has entered my life recently is a shrink wrap type and frankly, the more time I spend with this person, the more my bubble expands. Unfortunately, each time I step away from Shrink Wrap, they move closer and the other day I had to hide in another room briefly to regain my composure - I was on the brink of shouting, or crying., or both.

Do you have any coping mechanisms I should be aware of, or am I alone in this PSB problem? Although quite funny, it's becoming quite an issue!! Please share your own PSB experiences too.

Moving on up...in heels.

2009-10-09T14:17:00.003+02:00

Well, it was about bloody time that things got a bit better for me right?!

My French lessons are starting on Monday officially! I can't wait although I'm sure I'm going to be a bad pupil. 4 years teaching English gives a person an insight into how language lessons are and/or should be. I'm so happy though I'm finally going to get some help I know for sure I'll hand in my homework on time!

I got myself a little job too!! and it's not teaching!! yay! Working part time in the British shop in the town centre. It's cool I get to be surrounded by Hobnobs, Dr Pepper (and Irn bru for princesse) and peanut butter all day long! And I get to taste everything too in order to be able to help the customers better! I have to work all day on Saturday but I figure that's ok too. Sundays are all the more special with J!

After months of looking, we finally found a bike for me on the now legendary leboncoin.fr that was cheap AND in good condition and we're picking it up tomorrow. Shame it's been raining like cats and dogs for days.... I want to have a bit more independance from the bus service and it means that on nice Sundays I can partake in J's favourite sport....although somehow I think I'll be the one lagging behind!!

In celebration of these three great things, I went out and bought some ankle boots today. Totally impractical - they have heels! Ha, Rachel, you are probably laughing right now. I don't 'do' heels ever (since a leg op) but I love these boots! I know J won't understand my reasonings but hey! I wanted to buy something for me! And it's never too late to learn how to walk in heels right?!

Did anyone go to the American Library in Paris yesterday?

2009-10-08T15:11:00.002+02:00

I just saw on petite anglaise's website that there was an evening with a few well known ex-pat authors last night at the American Library of Paris. Did anyone go?

Esperanto? ne. singing? jes. French lessons, oui oui oui!

2009-09-30T17:07:00.003+02:00

So, like a lot of things in my life at the mo, Esperanto is going on the back burner as it turns out that I am the only person interested to start lessons and they can't do a lesson with just me there. grrr. There is already one class but they are too advanced for me to join considering I'm a total beginner. I have been on lernu.net though so I can learn a bit on my own! Mi ne Komprenas!! It's refreshing to start a new language and maybe I'll get to go to a lesson sooner rather than later.

On a better note, I go to my first choir rehersal tonight. They started two weeks ago but wasn't able to go as I was in the UK. That's something to be happy about!

I start my long awaited French lessons on Monday too. We're getting tested and then the lessons will start later in the week. Unfortunately I won't be getting 20 hours a week like I thought, but 5 hours a week. The lessons will last all year and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wanted to be out of here after Christmas. Being only 5 hours a week means I will have to find something else to do also. A job would be nice, but I won't hold my breathe.

Esperanto-International Language?

2009-09-25T18:39:00.003+02:00

So, I'm looking for things to do in Amiens and I find out there are Esperanto lessons in Amiens. Not having a clue what this was (sorry linguists) I look it up on the internet and now I'm fascinated!

But people...have you ever met someone who speaks it? I didn't even know it exisited until 10 mins ago and I'm hardly a langugage recluse! Really why would Amiens (coincé de chez coincé) have these lessons when they hardly do French lessons? I'm totally interested and I might go to one of these lessons just to find out more about these people. Do you think it would mean something on my French CV to say that I can speak Esperanto? Interesting, very interesting.

Linguists, speak up! What's the deal with this language? Why would I go to lessons? Is it really a living language?

Here again. waiting

2009-09-24T13:52:00.003+02:00

I'm back in Amiens. I had a good, but brief time in the UK, but it's ok to be back in France. Like I said in my last post, I've come to realise, no matter how much my life is miserable at the moment, I DO have a life in France.

Trying to keep myself busy and not think about lack of job situation as that just makes me really sad. So, I'll be starting a new knitting project and I'm waiting for my French lessons to start. I'm interested to know if I will be considered as a student when they start and whether I would be allowed to do stages in that case. Not surprisingly, I have no idea when the lessons will start. I was told 15th september to 15 october at the latest. I've emailed to ask if they've organised them yet, but no surprise - no one has replied. I've rang too, but no one answers. It's cool. I have no energy to get annoyed at them. I might go to the centre tomorrow but it wouldn't surprise me if they were closed.

so, i'll just wait. I think I'll have to get used to it, I doubt my situation will change anytime soon. If I'm waitng for France to be more organised and accpeting of foreigners, I'll be waiting a lot longer yet.

What is family?

2009-09-19T11:11:00.003+02:00

I'm back in the UK. It wasn't planned, I only booked tickets three days before travelling but I thought I needed to get out of La France and spend some time with the fam.

In about an hour we are travelling 'up north' 3 hours to go to a family christening this weekend. I haven't seen my family for 2 years (gah, I was going to write 'since 2 years.....shoot me now) so it will be nice although a bit weird too. Being in France makes me realise that I can live quite comfortably without these people. We've never been close, only ever seeing each other once a year anyway, the distance was always an issue, and I think my change in attitude is as a result of being in France and contructing something of my own. I used to absolutely love catching up my them but now?! I now know we will never be close and just because we are family by blood, it doesn't mean everything.

Family is what you contruct too. The people you love, who you know love you. That may be my 'grand frere' Damian in Mexico, or my SIL in France. Equally Rachie in Brussels than Cedric in France. My parents in the UK and of course, J, my rock, by my side. These people know me, get me, and support me. I've always chased the ideal fanily group, and I think at last I'm OK with the one I have.

I am looking forward to seeing the fam, but I'm not dwelling on it. Our distant relationship is what it is and I know that when I go back to France, I'll be seeing / speaking to my family, blood or not, too.

Another one bites the dust

2009-09-10T10:51:00.002+02:00

or that should be 'another dream eats the french crotte'.

Interesting fact of the day: Every single person who works in a pharmacy in France was educated in France. I know this very interesting point as I was told yesteday that under law 45b, sub law 22g blah that no foreign diploma will allow access to the BTS 'working in a pharmacy'. So, it's offcial, my searching, reflection and work done with my bilan lady over the last three months has been a big fat waste of time. Woopi-doo. I now know I'd like to work in a pharmacy, but in fact will never be possible. Ever.

Thank you France once more for this beautiful moment in my life.
There are only so many times you can pick yourself out of the crotte before it starts to stick for good.

mobilettes

2009-09-08T11:47:00.002+02:00

I don't think I'm alone when I say I am passionate about the degree that I despise mobilettes/scooters/hairdryer powered bikes. Call them what you like, I hate them.

Ever since moving into the house 16 months ago I've had to get used to the noise of them doing the circuit around our road. But it's got more sinister recently and I felt I had to react.

There is a small park next to my house that connects my quartier with the town centre and it's beautiful walking through it on a crisp cold morning or hearing the frogs croaking in the tributaries of the Somme that run through the park.

But you can scrap this peaceful mental image when the mobilettes pass through. The kids in the area race through the park and pedestrians have no choice but to jump out the way and walk on the grass to avoid getting run over. They very often don't have helmets on, I doubt that a lot of them are actually old enough to ride anything with an engine, and last week I saw one doing a 200m long wheelie through the park. Not to mention the noise that they make - they often tune up their engines so they make lots of noise and which allows them to go much faster than the engine is meant to allow. joy.

Last week was the final straw when I was brushed by the arm of one such mobilette. I'd heard it coming, got out the way by walking on the grass and yet the idiot still found a way to brush past me at speed. I jumped a mile and was frankly a bit shaken up. Yesterday on getting out the way for two very young motocyclists without helmets who were racing each other I decided to do something about it....i went to the police.

I went to the police municipal, pressed the buzzer, and was directed to press another buzzer...the second person told me to go to the police national. So I went to the hotel de police (a little less confdent this time) and explained my thing at the desk....and guess what?! Well, I'm sure you can imagine.....i didn't get anywhere! The woman told me that I should call the 17 next time it happened and a patrol car would swing by. It's funny how even with the police, you get the run around and told to go to see someone else. Let's face it - how important is it to send a police patrol car to some idiot kids zooming around a park on mobilettes? Not very on the grand scheme of things.

To be honest, I didn't expect much else for my efforts but I am quite proud that I was brave enough and confident enough to speak to different police departments. That wouldn't have happened a while ago. Ringng the 17 is a different matter though....I think they'd laugh at me!

So, I will continue to wince and jump from fear each time I hear that screechy engine sound approach. One of these days I am sure there will be an accident and I for one will be able to say sadly 'I told you so'.

My non-rentrée

2009-09-04T12:33:00.003+02:00

Just as everyone has been gearing themselves up for the return to school/work, I have been gearing myself up for my first non-rentrée since living in France and let me tell you, it's a mixed bag of emotions.

For the more informed amongst you, I've been doing my best to find a route out of teaching and the process has turned out to be heart-wrenching and well, dam hard.

I've been through relief when I finally decided to leave teaching, joy when an organisation took me on for a bilan de competences, and most recently I've mostly been through hell. It seems that it is genuinely THIS difficult to retrain. I have a BAC+4 in all things scienecy and yet my hoop jumping and adminastrative party tricks are still not enough to get me onto a BTS. Frankly, I'm done with my party tricks and I don't think it's neceesary for me to degrade myself further. I still have a little self worth despite France having ripped most of it out of my chest along the way.

So, what's in store for me this rentrée? I could teach.... Only today I've been contacted by my boss at the uni and asked if I wanted to do a second year as a lectrice as they still have space. I turned it down. Tell me I'm brave and not stupid. On the way up to uni this morning I felt physically unwell. I was going to consider taking the job but seeing all the students on the bus reminded me how much I hated it. Yes, I have loads of stuff prepared already but the idea of doing the same things and having the same problems was enough for me to say no. It was hard though. I'm trading in a job for the job centre. It's a gamble but not too much of one considering I'd be in the same position this time next year anyway - jobless with no extra real experience to put on my CV.

People may think I'm mad to turn down a job but I'm never going to get out of the cycle without being brave. So, my rentrée is being dedicated in trying to pick up the pieces after the pschological damage I've sustained along the way durng these last 4 years. Someone recently told me that I was too young to be so unhappy with life and I agreed.

I'm starting French lessons this month in order to regain my confidence in myself. I'm sending CVs left right and centre with the motto 'I can but try' to organisations that I think might need a 'me' and later in the year I plan to do more mini-courses at the adult education centre and maybe do some informal 'try-out' periods in jobs that interest me.

I don't think this year is going to be easy, but I have to try and find a non-teaching job in order to save my sanity. And today, just knowing that I have a non-rentrée back to a teaching job is enough for me.

Heaven is....

2009-09-01T17:48:00.003+02:00

...finding a little bit of your homeland on your doorstep. A new British grocery shop opened in Amiens today and I happened to be its first customer! (lets not tell the dude I've been stalking it's opening for a while now!) I was worse than a kid in a candy shop...I was walking round with a grin on my face and I wanted to touch everything! Tea bags, biscuits, and wow, cadburrys chocolate bars and ginger beer!

I bought my favourite biscuits of all time HOBNOBS. As a little thank you present for being the first customer I was also given a pretty jar of lemon cheese. So cool!!

So, tonight I will be mainly eating these with my proper cup of british tea :

yarn shops please

2009-08-31T17:10:00.002+02:00

Calling all knitters in France...(or not)

I'm deciding on my next project - I'm thinking cute winter patchwork blanket and was wondering where you guys buy your yarn. I always end up getting it online and would rather not as sending 20 balls to another country costs mega bucks!

So, where could I go to get my hands on chunky wool? I've found a pattern that uses sirdar big softie, but do you have any recommendations for something similar? or where to go look? purlease.... sorry, couldn't resist.

Looking for loved ones in the Battlefields of the Somme

2009-08-25T10:34:00.000+02:00

Rachel came to stay at the weekend! J and I had already decided that we were going to visit some of the WW1 battlefields and memorials but what we didn't realise is that Rachel had lost two family members in the Great War.

We first visited Thiepval British memorial for the missing. Here there are 72,000 names carved onto a memorial to honour those whose body was never found.

Then we visited the lochnagar mine in La Boisselle which is a site of an enormous explosion on 1st July 1916. The huge crater brings it home the horrors that must have happened over 90 years ago.

At this point Rachel had got in touch with her family who were able to tell her exactly where her family members were buried and after looking at the map, we realised it was totally possible to go and find them. Both uncles were buried in small cemetaries in small villages and as ever with war graves, they were incredibly well kept. It was the first time that anyone from her family had seen the graves and I was very happy to have made it possible for her.

It was a beautiful day, and so moving in many ways. Reading the dedications in the cemetary register was choking. These cemetaries are often totally empty. We pass them in the car often and have never seen anyone in them and yet the register proves that people come in great numbers from all over the world on a regular basis. So wonderful to know that the soldiers have not been forgotten.

itchy

2009-08-19T16:11:00.002+02:00

I've got heat rash and it's horrible! I guess two weeks in the south during the heat wave didn't do wonders for my poor pale skin after all. I'm sooooooo itchy and trying not to scratch isn't working. Apparently there's not much you can do for it other than keep cool. It's 33oC here today and I was forced to go out in the sun for an appointment for my bilan de competences. Now I'm itching more. aggghhhhhh.

Back to real life.

2009-08-18T17:43:00.003+02:00

We got back to Amiens on Sunday after a mammoth 14 hour car journey (2.5 hrs of which was spent asleep in the car in a service station). Amiens is a loooomg way from the med sea. Our hearts were lifted slightly as we went straight to the maternity to visit J's new godson who is a week old now. Then we went to pick up the hamster from the hamstersitter (aka, mamie) and then it was back to Amiens.

I was not too encouraged by the serious lack of post for me. I mean, I was away two whole weeks! What did I receive? A bank statement and a sephora advert. On the other hand J had loads waiting for him including a postcard! ggrrr.

I now have loads of housework to do - i've already done 5 machine loads of washing. and then there's the ironing. zzzzz. J's bro who is still on hols in the south rang me today and tried to be supportive....at least I won't be bored then, he said. sniff.

We had a fab holiday, I loved spending time with J's bro and baby C, loved the beach, but was happy to meet J's new godson N back in the North.

I'm now left with happy memories of the holidays. Some of which will continue on for a bit longer. thanks to the following: . In order left to right: muscat, muscat, st chinian red, st chinian rosé, pomplemousse rosé. There's a little shop at the tourust resort that sells wine by the 1.5litre plastic bottles. Thank you giant vats of wine in vrac. Thank you!! MIL and I got through one whole muscat bottle in less than a week. Vive les apéros! Summer can now last a little bit longer...well, until Rachel comes to visit me this weekend at least!

Massif Centrale and Toulouse heaven

2009-08-11T14:56:00.003+02:00

I'm in destination number 4 of our holiday - Cap d'agde on the south coast of france. I have time to write as J is currently snoring out his sieste. Me, I'm in my bikini ready to catch some rays and probably sweat it out at the beach later on.

Destination 2 on the holiday was the massif centrale. Volcano land. There are over 80 in the region and we spent four days exploring some of them. It was stunning.

We spent a day at Super-Besse which is actually the name of the town and not the sports park like I thought. haha. Here we climbed yet another puy, did some luge d'été (summer sledging -amazing fun) and also tried out the grass karting. It's amazing what a ski resort can do to attract visitors in the summer. At the moment I would post a video of the karting that J filmed but I don't think the holiday wifi will cope. Think MarioKart. It was fantastic. I'll try posting it later.

Holiday destination 3 was Toulouse to see J's bro, SIL and baby C. Now, this is always a toughie for me as I look forward to going so much, have a great time, and then have to leave. That my friends is very hard. I feel so at ease in Toulouse, surrounded by people who care genuinely about me. I get to talk to a real life girlfriend who is also my SIL about girlie things and then it is whipped away from me. Tough my dears, that moment indeed. J's bro mentioned in passing after his girlfriend was being stupid that it was ok for me as I didn't have to put up with her as I only see her three or four times a year. We were all joking about the silly thing that had made us laugh so much and there was me thinking 'god, I want to see them more often than 3 or 4 times a year. I want to see them every weekend.' Leaving wasn't too bad this time as they are coming to join us at destination number 4 on friday for a few days. but still it hurt leaving.

I don't even want to think about destination finale - Amiens. That's for another time. For now, J's stopped snoring so maybe we can go to the beach......

Holiday spot the error

2009-08-04T22:18:00.000+02:00

I haven't fallen off the planet, I'm in ze massif centrale on holiday for 4 days as part of our two week tour of Lyon - Clermont Ferrand and surrounding areas of ze massif centrale- Toulouse - Cap d'agde.

Lyon was expensive but it was nice to see J's cousin and his nicely new constructed house. We arrived at étape two yesterday and Clermont Ferrand is just that - two town centres, Clermont and Ferrand. That was unexpected! The buildings are often made of volcanic rock which makes them look dirty so it takes a bit of time to get used to. I found Ferrand prettier than Clermont.

Today we went to the regional theme park based around volcanoes. Well, there are 70 of them in the chaine de puy! Whilst waiting (for an hour I'll add) at one of the attractions, I read the notice in English only to to be left worrying about my health and what on Earth was in store for me and all ladies ahead on the Dragon Ride.

...can you spot the classic translation error?!

I'll be posting some photos of the area soon.

I love Knitting!

2009-07-28T09:47:00.000+02:00

This is my 'hate plastic, love knit' shoulder bag that I finished recently. It took me longer than I thought but I'm very happy with the results. It's the first time I've knit in cotton and I liked it a lot! No wool splitting but you have you be careful with your tension. I also learnt moss stitch which is used in the handles and the base pieces to give strength to the bag. Despite the orginal 'oooh, I'm learning a new stitch', I soon got bored with the repetitivity of moss stitch and you have to concentrate a lot. ;o) Difficult when you're a knitter who likes watching the tele at the same time! hehe. The pattern is from the british knitting magazine 'Simply Knitting' which I love and I added a lining to the bag myself and the ribbon binding to give the bag more shape.

What's my next project going to be?

British biscuits

2009-07-22T13:02:00.002+02:00

After seeing the French version of this advert, I looked on youtube and it exists in English too. I mean, I am totally baffled to what they are trying to say about the brits?! and in which country was this shown? Please let me know if you know....

FYI, these biscuits are yummy.

i'm back, just

2009-07-20T11:50:00.002+02:00

I got back to Amiens last night and I think it's going to take me a little bit to settle down. My ears are well and truly blocked up and it's making me feel sick and dizzy and it's giving me a headache. Not the best welcome home. This is due to the Eurostar London - Lille. Since they've changed the route to make it quicker (now only 1h20mins) it plays havoc with my ear drums. Most of the journey is now spent coming in and out of long tunnels and the frequent change in room pressure has caused my ears to complain a lot. It's the worst it's been and I can't even manage to pop my ears so I'm stuck like this until they decide to return to normal. Yuck. Anyone got any tips? I'm an impatient kind of girl when it comes to illness.

This afternoon I'm going to wander into town to see if anything has changed in the two weeks I've been away. haha. The sales are still on I think so let's see if there is anything left that could be interesting to me. I'll probably come back with a wooly poncho and some shoes I'll never wear. I heart the sales.

car booty

2009-07-13T15:13:00.003+02:00

Yesterday mum and I did a car boot sale in our local village. you pay £5 a place which goes to the scout group and then you're free to sell your ~~junk~~ goodies. There were about 20 cars and although it only starts officially at 2pm, we got there at 1.15pm to set up and we were the last car there and there were already people looking to buy! What's the point of the start time then?! Anyway.... we didn't have much to sell but we almost sold everything including my karaoke machine (haha) and a nice wall clock of mum's.

We didn't make millions but we only stayed an hour as we'd sold out practically there wasn't much point staying longer.

I think more and more people are coming to car boot sales what with everyone tightening their purse strings. I for one love looking for books. It is pot luck though. Sometimes you can find some gems and other times it really is just junk. But I guess one woman's junk is another woman's gold.

It was a nice afternoon but there was drama when a gazebo overturned in the wind and injured a little girl. She started bleeding a lot and was taken to hospital to be stitched up. Eek.

Dangerous stuff car boot sales.

Photo not contractual.

*** I'd like to thank the mighty Crystal for helping with html in this post. The girl's a genius even if she'll deny it herself***

In my other life, where thing seem different

2009-07-10T14:58:00.002+02:00

I'm in Wales. Picardie beat me and I moved back to the homeland. (If only for 2 weeks, sniff)

I got back on Tuesday and since then I've been shopping, sunbathing - yes, it's possible in the UK, and chilling out. It's nice to be home as it always gives me time out where I can reflect on my life more objectively.

In Amiens, I feel like a goldfish in a very small tank, no coral, or little castle, looking out into the big exciting world outside but unable to get there. When I'm in Wales, I think about my life in that fish tank and it doens't seem so small. Yeah, there is no coral, or little castle, but it doesn't seem so small.

The basics are there in my life in France. I'm loved. But I want so much more and vital things too.

Life shopping list (no expiry date to items on list)

1. friends...do you think rent-a-friend exists? This is still the biggest ongoing crappiness in my picardie life. I feel lonely A LOT. Not helped by the job situation (or lack of...)

2. a job other than teaching. In the process of my bilan de competances but unsure of the outcome...i fear slippery decent back to the classroom.

3. a garden. Yes please. my fish tank is smaller when the sun is shining and no where to go outside to soak up the much needed vitamin D. I'd love a garden where I can grow veggies and maybe keep a couple of chickens. ha, I'm turning into my mum.

4. a cat. When #3 is acheived, I will allow myself one. I've always had a cat and they bring joy and amusement. (sorry Rocoo, still love you). This said, if one happened to wander into my fish tank, i'd be quick to shut the window behind and claim him right now.

It's not me, it's picardie

2009-07-03T14:24:00.004+02:00

I'm so angry but it's not be unexpected. Picardie is rubbish.

I have finally (and I mean finally, I've been looking for years....) found that picardie has officially NO proper french classes. I kind of knew this as I've been looking but hey, it's nice to know it wasn't me.

The link proving that where YOU live is better equpied for foreigners than here. Notice the lack of Picardie in the list.

Also, I've been looking at training courses that are en alternance. That way I get to work and study at the same time. I found a fab website that helps people like me find these courses. Great! There is a map of France with it's 22 regions on it. With a booklet for each region about which jobs are recruiting in this manner. Fab! Except, picardie is (was) the only region that had 'in preparation' on it. I was so peed off. I waited, kept going back to see when they would put their info up, and joy, this morning they have.......replaced 'in progress' with the link to the national ONISEP site. I've been to these people, I know they are rubbish. Last time I went to the ONISEP advisors in Amiens I was told flatly that I should stay in teaching or do a masters in physics. Nothing else. When the nice people at the MEF rang them up for info for me, they said 'oh her, I've already told her to do a physics masters'. The MEF were horrified at their 'help'.

so, there is no way I can have french lessons, and it's not looking rosy on getting info about the traning courses I want to do in the region.

Another wonderful day as a Brit in picardie.

why doesn't my blog update itself?

2009-07-01T10:16:00.002+02:00

aghhh. Here I am again. My blog (I'm assuming it's the template) doesn't tell me about the new posts you lot have written. I have to go to someone else's blog to see what everyone is up to. Can anyone help? Will it improve if I change my template? Or is it something else?

The FrenchPaper anyone?

2009-06-24T20:04:00.003+02:00

A new english language newspaper has just been launched about France and I was wondering if anyone has got their mitts on it yet? If so, what's it like? I haven't actually looked in the shops to see if Amiens has been deemed worthy of stocking it (I'd bet the world I won't find it here). It says on the website that it'll be stocked more heavily in places where anglophones live (again, not Amiens).

I'm interested to know if it's just centred on Parisien life or that of the South.....and if it's actually worth buying?

FYI, I completed a survey on their website about French way of life and I think they should be sedning me a psychiatrist soon..... if you've got some time, complete it - you can totally see what they are getting at by the questions asked.

The FrenchPaper.

Amiens animated

2009-06-23T11:53:00.005+02:00

Wow, try saying that five times in a row.... and I can hardly believe it the first time!

Loads of events converged this weekend in Amiens and it was so nice to see so much going on.

It was the fete dans la rue which is an annual event in Amiens now in its 27th year where there are loads of outdoor theatres, circuses and shows all weekend. It also happened to be our quartier's annual party too on Friday which was fun. Our road was closed off and we had brass bands and majorettes parading until 2am with a BBQ wafting our way throughout the evening.

The best show was a circus act on Saturday night that launched itself off the top of a 15 floor building in th etown centre and as they slid down a tightrope t the floor, they threw white feathers into the crowd. It was impressive but slightly scary! There were so many feathers it looked like it was snowing. Very beautiful at almost midnight!

Because it was fathers Day, we'd invited J's parents for the weekend which usually means mega stress for yours truly (is the house clean enough? will they like the food i'm cooking? is it up to MIL's standards?....) but I'd decided not to cook this time and so we went out for dinner instead! So much less stressful! hehe.

The weekend also coincided with the annual marché sur l'eau which reminds us of way back when the farmers/veg growers came to market by boat to sell their produce that they had grown in the hortillonnages or water gardens. These gardens are small areas of land surrounded by water from the river Somme that are only accessible by boat but are very fertile. Once a year the market is recreated, with the agriculters dressed up in tradiational costume. The boats arrive from the hortillonnages, they stop the boats in the town centre and unload the fruit, veg or flowers onto the quai and the market starts. Since arriving in Amiens I have missed this event each year so I was delighted to be here this year. We bought a few things, raspberries, flowers...and then we went to the hortillonnages to take a boat tour there which I've done a few times now with different visitors but never stop being impressed by its beauty and tranquillity despite it being practically in the town centre.

On the boat tour of the hortillonnages

J's parents left on sunday evening, and we just couldn't make it out for the fete de la musique (so, you weren't the only ones L!) We were exhausted! We did get to hear a very amusing drunk man coming back from the fete de la musique though....at 5am we were woken by a man in our street who was shouting 'I ammmmm drruuuunnnnnnkkkkkk, la la la di da.....' The music was in him that night...

A really busy but very nice weekend. As I said, it's great to see Amiens with some things going on! It continues also as the fun fair is in town as of last weekend for a month...candy apples, candy floss.....and waltzers await me...

Did I mention that I've got British TV?

2009-06-15T13:54:00.002+02:00

This is actually old news but I realised the other day that I haven't really told anyone about it!

For my birthday, J organised for us to have all the free british channels - that's over 300 (free to air channels) but I've got about 20 in my favourite's list.

We bought a bog standard 60 cm satellite dish, pointed it at the satellite Astra 28.2° (with the help of a professional who knew where to point it), bought a bog standard digital channel decoder, and voila, all my favourite channels - free. No need for a subscription or need to pay the tv fee that my parents must pay. hehe

It truely is that simple and not too expensive. All in all, including paying the pro to point the dish, 140euros. I've seen adverts from companies in Paris selling the kit and installation for a minimum of 450euros.... so I think it's possible to organise this for yourself if you want the British channels.

I watch an enormous amount of French tv, and have no problems following programs, hey, I'm even accepting to watch films in VF these days but it is soooooo nice to keep in touch with what's going on in the UK.

This way, I've got the best of both worlds.

My beautiful ring

2009-06-12T13:03:00.004+02:00

As requested, here's my pacs ring that I was very lucky to receive. Let's not make any illusions here, I chose it and I was very excited in the shop! J has said on many occasions that he would never choose me jewellery in fear that I wouldn't like it.

I've never had a ring that was made to measure and it was quite interesting trying on all the sizes before deciding on which size I should get my ring shaped to. I'm a 48 apparently. :oD

As it's white gold, it will need redipping every 5 years or so as the 'white' rubs down with time to reveal the gold. You learn something every day...

and the pascée ate sandwiches

2009-06-11T13:42:00.002+02:00

J and I got pasced yesterday!

After getting all the paperwork together, we waited for our appointment and at lunchtime yesterday, holding pinkies under the table, we got pasced.

I even managed to OUTSMART a fonctionnaire by providing an orginal copy of my birth certificate which I'd paid £10 for and got sent to France just in case. The French are obsessed with original documents aren't they and us Brits only get 1 birth certificate that stays with us for life. Although I was told that I wouldn't need a copy, that they understand that our original is unique, I thought I'd pay for an official copy quand meme and bingo, the woman in front of demanded an official copy. Bye bye £10 copy, hello nice simple pacs procedure. Me: 1 Them: oh millions....

After the signing procedure, we ate cheese and ham sandwiches in the park and went to a café for a hot chocolate and a cake. I had a merveilleuse au chocolat cake for the first time and would totally recommend them. yummy. J left me to go back to work and in the evening we went to a new brochette restaurant in Amiens and we had champagne apéro followed by brochettes and beer! haha. It was great!

J was very wonderful and bought me a white gold and tiny diamond ring which I fell in love with at first sight in the shop. We picked it up just before we got pasced. It's simple but beautiful and I can't stop taking sneaky looks to see how it sparkles in the sunlight.

I'm feeling very spoilt today!

The internet is back whilst I'm bouncing back

2009-06-08T13:37:00.003+02:00

eugh, the neufbox broke the night of the scary storm two weeks ago and we've just been reconnected. Believe me, 2 weeks not being able to ring my parents in the UK for free every day, not being able to watch tv or check my emails/blog was horrible! Especially not being able to ring home. I think I use up the *free* phone calls for all of picardie! 2 monthly phone bill -30 minutes to France, free; 10 hours to the UK, free. So, am so happy to get it back!! :oD

Lessons started again last week after, urm, was it 9 weeks of the blockade? Whatever, it started again and with little point as the exams start tomorrow. I've got three exam sessions to invidulate and about 200 exams to mark afterwards and then, yes, the summer holidays/unemployement will start! or summer holidays # 2....

I've been feeling better and better mentally these past few weeks/months. I started my bilan de compétances two weeks ago and although it's only the start, it has confirmed to me 1000 times over that I've done the right thing by wanting to get out of teaching. The Bilan lady voire shrink (ha) tells me that once you make the decision to get out of an unhappy career, everything else gets better and fits into place. Here's hoping, so far so good.

I've been so unhappy that I've been depriving myself of things as I didn't want to spend money on myself. The happier Emma tells me to go out, spend some money on things that will improve my life more....so, this afternoon I'm going to the ladies only gym and will (proably) sign up for the summer - histoire to use up my time, get fitter.... and I don't feel guilty about spending the money this time.

On a similar note, some of you will know how excited I am when I go to Lille and get to go to the UK clothes shop New Look...well imagine the squeal of delight I made when I found out that Amiens does indeed have one (Since when? Rachie, how did I miss that?) So, i think I'll be paying it an extended visit this afternoon too.... J just slowed down proceedings on Saturday...i've already got my eye on some sandals and a bikini....

Crystal, ring me!

Off for a nice british cup of tea....bon aprem everyone

Toulouse, where the sun lives

2009-05-26T13:28:00.002+02:00

I got back from Toulouse on Sunday after 3 glorious days there celebrating the christening and first birthday of J's nephew.

His christening was on Thursday (a bank holiday in France), and he had his first birthday on Friday. When the words 'ooh, christenings are becoming more and more like weddings' I knew I was in for a feast, literally. I wasn't disappointed. We spent three whole days eating and drinking and laughing oh and swatting mosquitos. eep. Eating in the South is very different to the North I've discovered, and I prefer it down there. The christening menu was composed of entrée, main course, cheese and dessert and lasted 2 hours. In the North, there is usually another entrée, a sorbet to clean the palate between entrée and main course, and sometimes even a salad between the main and cheese. Meals in the North also last alllllllll day. Last Christmas, I spent 7 hours sitting at the dinner table. aggh.

I overheard my MIL talking at the christening, and frankly, I wish I hadn't. It seems she's 'counting' on J to produce a girl. Woah, that would mean me, not J I guess. ;o) Boys are the rule of thumb in their family and to be honest, I myself would be amazed to have a girl. That won't be happening for ages yet anyway. Scary that the MIL is already thinking about it though. Christenings and weddings always do that don't they. Not content in enjoying the moment, family members always look to other couples and project them into the future. I remember a friend being terrified going to weddings with her boyfriend of 10 years as the eneviable always got asked to why they weren't married yet.

Anyway, we had a great long weekend. It was hot, and I finally got to see the sun and feel its presence on my skin. I honestly think I've got S.A.D. 'cos I always feel much better in the sun. I'm also sad to say I shed a tiny tear on the journey back to Amiens. I mean, I actually laughed and had fun at the weekend. Even J said how happy he was to see me enjoying myself. In Amiens, there is no family, no friends, no sun, no laughs. It just brought it home to me that I am on a personal journey at the moment to create a better life for myself. Maybe a move to Toulouse wouldn't be a bad idea....

Hilarious. Blackpool trying to put the ooh la la into the tourist industry

2009-05-14T18:04:00.005+02:00

Warning ! This is NOT a joke. Just seen on sky news that Blackpool, a seaside town in North East England, has a new advertising campaign. If you are unfamilar with Blackpool, it's famous for its tower, very much like the Eiffel Tower but smaller of course! What do you think? I love the reference to 'Lancashire casserole.....no no....'ot pot'...a meal like pot au feu in France where in the UK there is a divide on what to call the meal. I don't know how well this advert 'travels' but I think it's hilarious.

Kin Ball

2009-05-13T16:35:00.003+02:00

In my quest for an improved life, I've been thinking about doing some sport. Yes, even thinking about it is a huge step forward for me....

I was reading a local free regional magazine this afternoon and came across an organisation in Amiens that is introducing young people to sports and it mentioned Kin Ball as one of them. As I have nothing better to do, I looked it up and frankly, I'm speechless. You may or may not know about this sport, but you should watch this video twice as the first time I saw it, I just thought 'WTF' but now it's growing on me.... why doesn't this sport exist in the UK? gym lessons would have rocked.

There are 3 teams of four players. One team calls out another team and that team must stop the ball from touching the ground. If it touches, the team who called out gets the point. The players in the video are SOOOO into it. I do wonder about carpet burns though..... Video in French

I finally got my French test results back

2009-05-11T18:16:00.003+02:00

I had a TCF test on the 27th March and finally got the results today.

Compréhension orale - 510

Structure de la langue - 547

Compréhension écrite - 490

Résultat global - 510 which is a C1 on the European Language level scale.

I am so happy with the results!!! I came away from the test convinced I'd totally failed the grammar bit - I honestly felt like I took educated guesses at most of it so you can imagine how I felt when I saw that I got the best grade in the grammar! The world works in mysterous ways.

Please note I have no idea how they work out the average as it obviously isn't a straight average of the 3 grades. Please also note that they told me the results would be with me within three weeks - 3 weeks stretched to 6 1/2 weeks. Vive l'admin.

It just goes to show you that you can get by in, hell, be good at a language without having a formal education in it. I've done it the hard way. I've learnt all my French in France and finally maybe I can start to have a bit of confidence in my language skills. I feel very proud of myself today. I know my French is far from perfect, but almost 4 years on from the day where I had to look up 'curtain' and 'knife, fork' and 'litter bin' in the dictionary in order to communicate crudely with the school where I was housed as an assistant, I can now easily watch the TV on any subject, read trash magazines, read novels and dam it, argue with fonctionnaires in French.

For those of you who are newer in France, it is possible. Hang in there.

Why cleaning is bad

2009-05-07T12:41:00.004+02:00

Death occurred during huge cleaning session (still in progress) in honour of my in-laws visit tomorrow. I hope J isn't too upset about this when he sees it...it's the souvenir from his godson's christening - so goes the tradition that the godfather buys something like this to give to everyone at the christening. I hope it's glue-able. eek

One up

2009-05-04T12:28:00.002+02:00

For the observant amongst you, you will have noticed that my age in my profile bit on the right went up sneakily last week. It was my birthday and I was lucky enough to spend it at home in Wales with J and my parents. I did nothing special all week but it was great all the same.

I spent my actual birthday gardening, all day. My parents have a garden on all sides of their house and a hedge on all sides, some one metre high, others 3 metres high. We decided to help them out cutting them and mon dieu, I'm sending out respect to all gardeners. I was given the task of picking up the cuttings and I was exhausted after a day of bending, scooping amd lifting. I would never again need to do gym squats if I had a garden. The only problem was that I really hurt my leg in the process of repetitive squatting. The next day was a write-off for me, spent knitting, whilst J continued with the petrol fuelled hedge cutter. He was in man heaven.

I don't have any photos of the gardening, but mum does so when I get some, i might add some here.

The night of my birthday we went to our local pub that serves amazing home cooked food. I had a huge spicy curry, lots of good wine and was told to leave space for dessert. I was expecting a huge chocolate cake to arrive (who wouldn't) and so was slightly miffed to receive a slice of chocolate cake with candle on top and alas, 4 spoons. They didn't even play the happy birthday cd. Worse, my mum was really disappointed. What with the 4 spoons, mum thought there would be 3 other slices arriving, but no.....we waited a while and then accepted we would have to share my slice. hmmmm. When paying, they asked if everything went well, and when mum said inocently that she was disappointed by the 'special birthday surprise', the boss was called over and mum didn't have to pay for it. She was thrilled but her jaw dropped when the waitress said under her breathe after her boss had gone that mum was lucky as that dessert cost £20. Yes indeedy....one slice of chocolate cake WITH candle £20 (about 25euros at today's exchange rate). yikes, candles are expensive it seems. It wasn't even a sparkly type. Again, lack of photos means you'll just have to take my word for it. Needless to say, we were all relieved that we didn't pay for it. phewee.

save money, wash your clothes the night

2009-04-24T11:38:00.002+02:00

After our hideously expensive electricity bill the last time I almost fell off the sofa. I had never before paid so much. I decided to test out using the timer on our washing machine so it starts after midnight when electricity is almost half price and voilà, just got our next bill and we've saved about 14€ in 6 weeks. That's by just using the washing machine between midnight and 8am.

If your washing machine has a timer, try it out!

NB, not advised if you live in an apartment where you risk to wake up the neighbours by the vibrations! hehe

today's things

2009-04-23T14:33:00.002+02:00

1. I washed J's (urrm, I mean 'our') car today in honour of going to Wales tomorrow. It was done in damage limitation tactics as the car is filthy all the time due to the building site at the end of the road. I am permamently ashamed of how dirty the car is so I thought I should clean it before my Dad saw it. It's funny how wanting to please (or not disappoint) your parents never seems to go away with age. I was thus incredible shocked how much I enjoyed washing the car. I spent over an hour on it, soap, scrub, rinse, buff, dry. Don't tell J, he'll be asking me to do it all the time. It's out secret ok?! There will no doubt be an 'inspection' later where he will search for the missed fly poop etc etc. In his job he has to check the work of others all the time to make sure it's done correctly, and sometimes voire often, he brings his work head home and I'm on the receiving end....

2. Two teenage boys knocked on the door an hour ago and asked me about a 'caz' or something like that. I said I didn't understand what they meant, they repeated 'caz' again louder this time, I insisted that I didn't understand the word, what is a 'caz' and they said 'a caz'. agghhh. They tant pis'd me and moved onto the next house. It still tickles me the reaction of people when you don't understand that they are saying. Shout louder and then she'll get it. haha. I think it was some sort of lotto game where you pick a 'caz' and if your number comes up , you get some money, but I guess I'll never know now.

3. I'm getting my hair cut this afternoon and then I'll start packing for the trip home tomorrow. I can't wait!

hold the fire, some good news at last

2009-04-22T13:00:00.002+02:00

A friend of mine said to me last week over a very large glass of beer that it was about time I had some good news, that my marathon of bad luck and/or encounters with French admin had to come to an end at some point.

Well, it did, last Thursday in the form of a 'Yes'. The woman at the MEF was so appauled by the treatment received from the Education Nationale that she did the impossible and arranged that I get a bilan de compétences paid for by the MEF. She said it only happens in exceptional cases. She also said (and I felt this needed to be documented) that she is ashamed when she comes across this type of admin nightmare, because it gives France a bad name. :o I didn't know whether to cry or hug her. I did neither I'll add. She sould have been freaked out.

So, yes, I should be getting my 20 hours of talking and testing (as Milam has put it). I am worried that there will not be that moment where angels cry hallelujah and a light bulb appears where I decide on my vocation in life, but I am going to make the most of all 20 hours. It's my only real chance of change and opportunity to discover other job options. The only slight problem is that I'm waiting on the call from the bilan people and I'll be out of the country as of Friday for a week. Sod's law they'll ring next week eh?! For the moment, I'm just thrilled to have has the go ahead, let's concentrate on that.

It's super sunny outside today, I'm on holidays (yes, a real difference from the last 4 weeks imposed holiday re: the blockade) and will be going home on Friday to see my parents for a week. It's my birthday too next week. and my bum hurts from gym squats. There, finally some good things to write about for a change.

Bon aprem everyone!

shoot me now

2009-04-15T18:02:00.002+02:00

It's not very pc I'm sorry, but they shoot lame horses to put them out their misery. I'm that lame horse today.

The most cutting, heart trampling phrase left the lips of the director of human resources today at the uni.

'hhmmm, you have very little work experience, you're 25 you say.....hmmmmm'

Ouch. I wanted to leap on the table and say 'so, working for four years for the poxy French government plus lots of other student type jobs before is worth nothing?' followed shortly by 'well, is it MY fault that I am only ALLOWED 7 month contracts as an assistant, 12 month contract as a lectrice? Followed by 'France is so backward' followed by 'am I good for nothing at the hideously old age of 25?

Instead I smiled sweetly, fought back the urge to cry, and took the stupid appointment she 'so kindly' offered me for next Tuesday where she will be able to direct me to a career, with my ahem, 'very little work experience'.

I'm tired, I'm drawn and internally crushed. I orginally went to see her for the bilan de compétences....yes they do do them, but mademoiselle, with your status, you won't be granted one. and Mademoiselle, a bilan won't help you decide on a career path, that only comes from you. Come back next week and I (HR at a uni) will help you decide which career path to take.

Are they recruting for SDFs?

big fat sigh.
all wine and chocolate donations, oh and addresses for knackers yards greatly welcome

When will I...?

2009-04-10T16:45:00.002+02:00

When will I be more content with my life here in France? I'm asking myself this quite a bit at the moment and I'm scared of the possible answers.

I REALLY want to make a go of things here but the thing is, I've been saying this for YEARS. Nothing much has changed in all that time.

Yesterday my frenchie left the house at 7am and got home at 10:30pm. As I'm at home all day at the moment because of the continuing blockade at the uni, believe me, yesterday dragged. Yes, I did my usual paperwork chase (current projects - get degree validated in France to help find a job and bilan de compétances, the ultimate paperchase) but still it was horrible in the evening.

Today he technically finishes at 12noon what with the 35hour working week but he's yet to come home at 16h50. I would joke that maybe he's cheating on me but it's not that. He's working loads and loads and this just reminds me how little I'm doing and how hard it is to do ANYTHING.

I'm terrified that when I get my degree validated, it'll come back that it's not even recognised in France ie, I don't have a higher education. If that happens, I honestly think it'll be the last straw.

As for the bilan de compétances, I have luckily found a great lady at the MEF in Amiens that is fighting my corner. She spent 40 mins on the phone yesterday to the Rectorat/chamber of commerce in order to get some info on if I have the right to get the bilan paid for me by the governement. In therory 'yes' as my employer, but we all know the public service has other ideas. She was passed to 5 or 6 different departments and buildings, each time repeating herself like a parrot. In the end she gave up. No one was capable of helping her, she kept being questionned on my motives and in the end she just said to me blankly 'I now understand why you are so unhopeful and sad'. Yes indeedy. She got the raw end of the admin nightmare I live daily.

She asurred me that this behaviour wasn't normal (ha, if only she knew) and that she was going to do all she could to help me. She gave me a list of things to read up on about or go and ask about and we have another meeting in a week. I've tracked down the person who deals with bilans at the university (result, not shorter than miraculous) but she hasn't replied to my email or the message I left with her colleague. There's a surprise.

I'm not hopeful that i'll get the blessed bilan, but at least I found a human being that is nice and French at that. Shame she's only doing her job. Something that I rarely come across here all the same.

Wales forgotten by Sarkozy

2009-04-08T13:39:00.004+02:00

You all know my struggle to get my country recognised in France. Yet again yesterday I had another conversation where someone thought Wales was in Ireland.

My mum sent me this a while ago. It seems Sarko has forgotten about us. Just don't tell the French prime minister's wife...she's Welsh too. and comes from a town very near mine.

Names scrubbed out to keep my hometown a bit private. Sorry it's a bit small. Think of it as an eye test.

and so what's the deal Mr Blocus?

2009-04-07T10:24:00.002+02:00

The blockade is still on. Well, I think it is as I've given up going in only to be told that it's continuing. I didn't go into work yesterday and no one has informed me that it has been lifted....I'm still in my pj's and this is directly linked to the blocus.

Formula: More time off spent doing nothing because of blockade = more lazy I become.

I've been spending my time at home stressing about my future (no change there), dealing with admin (ditto) and abusing the internet connection (tritto).

and who says that my life in France isn't exciting?! ;o)

The curse strikes again

2009-04-02T13:26:00.002+02:00

I'm in the middle of trying to get things sorted. My life needs a shake up and what is the worst thing that can happen when you are eager to turn things around? Yep, you guessed it, French admin/fonctionnaires.

Today in exactly 3 minutes I was meant to have RDV number 2 with the fonctionnaire who gave me hope last week but alas, she rang this morning and left and answer machine message to say that she hadn't had time to study my folder and that she would like to put back the RDV a week. *sigh* Surely she is paid to get things done? To have the time? Don't get me started there... Since she left the message I've been trying to ring her back like she asked to confirm that next Thursday would be ok, and *double sigh* she's not picking up!!!! aagghhhhhh

So, I donne my langue au cat and am trying orientatation centre number 3 this afternoon that has been suggested to me. The BUIIO. Where students go to get help. Third time lucky right?

Update on last week's business

2009-03-30T12:54:00.002+02:00

Last week was busy, mentally and physically! I took the whole weekend to recover. I blame the blockade for making my energy levels slump! The students are right at this moment deciding whether or not to continue the blockade...there's been rumours that they hope to continue it until the Easter holidays in three weeks. Imagine how lazy and lethargic I'll be by then if it does continue!

So, I had my two careers appointments and I'm so glad I had the two as the second one turned out to be an almost complete waste of time. More on that in a bit.

The first one was with the 'maison de la formation et d'emploi' in Amiens. I'm not sure if it's a national thing or not. I was skeptical but the lady was very understanding and gave me hope. Wow, a foctionnaire that gives hope?! I know, crazy. (maybe she's not a fonctionnaire actually). She suggested that I do the 'bilan de compétances' but said that she needed to study my rights before she could help me further as being a prof complicates things enormously. In theory my employer (the governmen) should pay for this bilan but she is going to check it out and I have another appointment with her this week. I cut right to the chase and said that I doubt the gov would pay for me and she gave more hope and said that there are other ways of accessing the bilan free of charge. hmmm. To be continued...

The second appointment was with the chamber of commerce and I was less skeptical about them but how wrong could I have been? The person made me wait 50 minutes after my alloted time and then didn't even apologise. As I had nothing else to do (blocus) I grinned and beared the looong wait as I was hopeful! and what else do you have in France if you don't have hope right?! I was sadly let down though when she seemed perplexed when I said I didn't like teaching (I didn't go into details with her of the extent I hate it...it wouldn't have been good French). She then took it upon herself to photocopy a mass of pages with physics and chemistry BTSs/DUTs when she saw I'd done this at uni...... and suggested that I get my degree evaluated for its level against French qualifications allowing me to see the 'gaps' in my qualification in order to complete it to achieve a French qualification. I love the fact that she assumed that whatever I had done in the UK would be inferior to anything in France! I left feeling the same I did when I had my career interview with my high school in which they evaulated a test we all did aged 14 that suggested I would be a good librarian. hmm, yes quite. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but so far off the scheme of things it's untrue.

Friday I had my French test (TCF) in Lille. I had to get up at 5am to get the train to Lille for 8.30am. I found the place ok and felt quite at ease with all the students also waiting to take the test. There were only a few English speakers there and only one other clearly non student. We were about 40 and I was planning on trying to get a seat near the CD player in order to hear the listening test well but unfortunately we were assigned seats and mine was, sod's law, right at the back of the lecture theatre. I had to really concentrate to hear the listening part of the exam which lasted 25 minutes, 30 questions, ABCD type responses. It was okish although my early rise and tiredness didn't help things. The grammar part of the test was really hard for me. The same exam format but I wasn't expecting it to be mainly about conjunctions. In the following sentence should the conjunction be A tandis que B alors que C à condition que D pourvu que...... aggghhhhh. As I've learnt all my French in France, I've never once said tandis que and never even heard of pourvu que. We just don't speak like that (or the people I meet don't). I can't be too upset and I'm not as I've never learnt this type of grammar so I can't expect to be good at it. Luckily the written comprehension part of the exam was fine!!

The exam will be marked within three weeks and I'll get a European language level for each part and then an average. I was hoping for C1 but now I'm not so sure. The exam is out of 699 and I need 500 to get a C1. I only did the test for my own benefit so if I don't do very well at least the next time I do it (maybe to enter a masters at uni) I know what to expect!

This week will be a biggie emotionally speaking

2009-03-23T15:37:00.002+01:00

Ok ok, so, I'm not getting married and no one is ill but I am looking forward to the end of this week!

I have two appointments with different career advisors from different organisations (CCI and la maison de la formation if you're interested) and I'm trying to prepare myself mentally. They are obviously going to ask me what type of things interest me and I'm trying to look stuff up to get an idea so I just don't look blankly at them and then get told off for wasting their time. The thing is, I hoenstly don't have any fixed ideas on what I would like to do and I'm interested to see what I am capable of doing in France.

My main problem is my confidence. Yes, I can speak and understand French very well, but I can't really write it well as I've never really needed to. Thus I feel I'm rubbish and will not find any job!

I've also considered that I will probably need to retrain at something but I don't fancy doing a BTS as I feel it's a step back as I already have a degree in science but it seeme that BTSs are the dogs dinner when looking for jobs around here. I would consider doing a masters but I'm not sure I want to do research which is basically what science masters are about and would I qualify to do any other type of masters? In France I doubt it. Please tell me if you know differently!!

I've been told by the ANPE recently that the fact that I am bilingual means a lot to any employer and I know I definately want to be able to use my English....but that's as far as my career plan goes at the moment.

and then there is the crise. It's not exactly the time to want to change career path is it?! I can be a lectrice for another year but then would that help much as teaching options will have dried up at this point...and I don't want to continue teaching....but it is the safest option for me...

I know I should stop worrying and wait to see what the career advisors have to say for themselves but I can't help stresisng out about the unknown. It's my weakness.

This week I also have a French test - TCF. I don't know if it will actually acheive anything but I really want to see what level i'm at as the last time I did a French test I was 16 and my French has certaiinly improved since school days! I've since heard the TEF is better for employers, I can always do that later I guess. Does anyone have any experience with French tests and if they are 'worth' anything at all. For me, this time at least, it's a personal quest.....

I really do feel lost this week. The uni is still blockaded, I'm not working and stressing about my future is my main activity. Now that makes a refreshing change ;o)

Blocus!

2009-03-19T10:35:00.003+01:00

Yep, I got to uni this morning to find that the students had blocked the doors from opening and were still adding to it. Tables, chairs, piled high, with table legs jammed into the door handles so there was absoluetly no way of getting in. Or out as it happens...... how do the students that are blocking access plan on getting out? and what if there is a fire? eep. I also wonder what staff members said when the students started to pile the tables and chairs up? Did they just French shrug and let them get on with it? No admin staff are in either I'm guessing. Will I get paid anyway? Even though I'm now a pro at accepting the French need to go on strike weekly, this is new to me. Please don't take my money from me.... I was willing to have lessons today.

No one can can in or out of the uni. There are definately no lessons today or tomorrow.
To be continued...

Blocus or no Blocus, that is the question

2009-03-18T17:06:00.002+01:00

So then, it's official. There is now a blockade that is being formed at the uni where I work. They plan to block access until at least Monday. I wouldn't mind so much, but I still have to prepare my lessons for tomorrow just in case I can get in and hold classes. My Thursday lessons are suffereing loads because there is always a strike or demonstration on Thursday. I think tomorrow is a general strike day too so I'm not even sure i'll be able to get to see the blockade if there are no buses to take me to aforementioned place. I'm getting into the swing of things though...on hearing the blockade news, I shrugged, pouted and rolled my eyes all in one smooth, almost French action. Vive la frencness I say.

Do I speak patois?

2009-03-10T12:38:00.004+01:00

This morning a mate popped by to see me and we were talking Franglais as usual as he is an anglophile and is always testing out his new English on me. We got onto the topic of children who whinge to get what they want. Pleurenicher he said. Schwiner I said. Schwiner? Emmy, that has to be patois (dilect)., it sounds like patois. He comes from the same region my Frenchie and he doesn't even know this word. Do you know this word? I have no idea how it's spelt (adding to the idea that it is indeed patois) but it sounds like shweener/shwiner and means to whinge.

Please don't tell me that I speak patois.....damn my Ch'ti boyfriend.

When the going gets tough, ALL the unis go on strike, I get a day off and go to the ANPE.

2009-03-05T11:31:00.005+01:00

Happy Strike Day everyone! I'm still in my pjs, yes it's 11.30am, and I'm very happy about it. All the unis in Amiens are closed today. Not even the cleaners or secretaries are working. I still am a bit clueless as to why (are they striking over the teachers having to work more? or the fact that you now have to do a masters to become a teacher?) I don't really know.

All that matters to me is that I didn't have to get up this morning and drag myself to work only to be met with students who don't care one bit aboaut English, or what I am saying, or how they can improve in the exam. Brick, head, wall springs to mind. I mean, if they are so uniterested, why continue coming to uni? They still insist in coming so i'm assuming they want to pass the exam in June so why don't they make an effort? It really is atrocious. Most of my lessons are with first years which apparently explains a lot. It's true that my second year classes (all 3 of them, the rest are 1st years) are more motivated. If I could, I would quit right now. I know I don't want to continue teaching, and I want to explore all other avenues asap but I might be forced to wait.

I went to the ANPE yesterday and was very frank with them, asked for help, said I couldn't stand teaching anymore and it turns out that the person I was talking to was an ex teacher too, that he couldn't stand it either and retrained. If anyone has any experience of the 'bilan de compétances' from the ANPE please could you give me your views.... he suggested that I spend 14 hours over 6 weeks with an advisor in order to do a bilan de copmpétances so I can get an idea what options I have for employment, the types of things I would be good at or would like doing. I really wasn't up for the idea of going back into education until I'm 30 but what's the other option? spend the next 40 years in a job I hate? When it's put like that, I'm up for anything in order to change!

Thank dieu it's sunny

2009-03-02T17:31:00.003+01:00

What a difference the sun makes to our lives... This coming from a woman who lives in the officially coldest place in France. Keep it to yourself that, else Amiens will be flooded with tourists. hum.

So yes, it's sunny! Right now, at 5.30pm, the sun is streaming through the window, warming my cheek. It's almost a miracle that it's light at 5.30pm and will be light for a while yet. Winter seems to go on for ages whilst summer, blink, and you've missed it.

The daffodyl's are coming out (very important for my Welshness), snow drops in full bloom and there's definately spring in the air.

These photos were taken in when I was home in Wales last week. I wish I had a garden here in France....

It's good to touch the green green grass of home

2009-02-24T18:28:00.005+01:00

In the words of this song, it is indeed too good to touch the green green grass of home......

This song gets me every time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5IABqwVO2U

Photos courtesy of my home town (village!) and house in Wales. I'm looking at this tree right now......

It's so good to be home.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's coming from the North.

2009-02-10T11:02:00.003+01:00

Many of you will know about my recent struggles concerning validating my French language skills, you just need to look at Dear France. This was almost a month ago and since then I have been back to the person indicated on the government website who is meant to organise French testing in my region. I have been sent to another department, fought it out there for 3 days, they accepted that I had the right to take the exam (only after I showed her the official website) but were sorry they couldn't help me as I wasn't a student. Was given the names of other people in another department who 'can' help me, been to see them, left emails and NOTHING.

Imagine my surprise when 40 minutes ago I found a very informative website in Lille explaining in detail the dates and prices of every French exam possible. It even said that ANYONE could take the exams. Imagine that.... Imagine more my surprise when I email them to ask how to sign up for the exams and SHOCK HORROR....I have already had a reply. There is a God! 40 minutes flat.

Is it possible that I am the only non-French non-student in the Picardie area who wants to take a French exam ? It seems so as I am yet to find anyone who can help me. I really was losing all hope. So, it's a great thing that we have decided to move. I just don't think Amiens and I were cut out to be friends.

Teaching, I'm so over it.

2009-02-09T23:12:00.002+01:00

Sorry to steal your post title of sorts Crystal but it's the best phrase to sum it up.

It's official, OK, it was official a long time ago but this time it's in a post, I WILL NOT CONTINUE TO TEACH. It saps the life out of me and I cannot continue this way. I have already started at looking at other things, this time with intention of deposing my CV. I also feel a move coming on..... Have spoken about it with J, and he agrees.

Things are gong to happen ladies and gentlemen, lets hope it's in the right direction.

I would like to dedicate this post to a certain, rude student who I had to send out of class today. Thank you for pushing me to write this post. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

All job offers welcome in my comments box.

25 things...

2009-02-01T13:09:00.003+01:00

Thanks Crystal for your 25 things. You've asked me to do the same but I feel you have said half of mine already!

Ok, so here goes....

1. English was my worst subject at school and now I'm teaching it. That's why I'm strict on pronunciation and accent and can't help any of my students understand Shakespeare.

2. I hate being blonde and pale. Give me skin that tans and brown hair....

3. I did karate throughout my adolescence for 5 years. I'm a brown belt (the one below black). I loved doing this sport but when I moved away from home to go to uni I couldn't continue as I couldn't find a karate club in my area that did the same style of karate.

4. I'm welsh, but since living in France I've started saying I'm English as I'm so demoralised by the blank looks when I say I'm Welsh.

5. I hate spending time cooking. Such a waste of time considering it takes 10 minutes to devour it after spending 2 hours cooking it.

6. I've started knitting. My grandma was a tailor and my mum is very good at crafts. I want to learn to be as good as them. I can knit simple things easily but want to get good at it!

7. I am a cat person. I love them and want one but also believe cats should have an outside area to call their own so I am (un)patiently waiting until we get a house with a garden. Could be waiting a long time.

8. I hate the wind. It's the worst type of weather. It makes me angry. Hot weather comes in a very close second.

9. I love being made a fuss of at my birthday but hate being the centre of attention. I'm the quite one in the group.

10. I'm very scared of spiders.

11. If I find a hair in my food, even my own, I cannot eat anymore at all. I have to leave the table to concentrate on not being sick.

12. I prefer silver to gold jewellery.

13. I am shocked at the way British girls dress when they go out when I return home. Imagine that I used to dress like them only a mere few years ago. French girls favour warmth and practicality over not wearing a coat to save on the cloakroom fees.

14. Don't be offended if I don't say hi to you if you're on my left side when we meet in the street. I didn't see you. I have no lefthand vision.

15. I rock at playing the fairground game 'horse derby' where you have to roll a ball into holes to make your horse move forwards. The last time I played I was asked to leave by the owner as I'd won 5 games in row.

16. I love singing although I am the first to admit I'm not great! It's the best way for me to destress. I'd love to take singing lessons so I could sing in public.

17. I love rollercoasters (but only the type where you have a headbrace.)

18. I drink an obscene amount of tea. Hey, I'm british, that's my excuse. I now drink tea without milk though as the milk here in France is questionable.

19. I am very quick to be hungry and yet don't have a big appetite when I do eat. I'm a little and often kind of girl.

20. I can do the finger splits with my index and middle finger

21. I love pickled shallots and pickled beetroot and can eat lemon without pulling a face.

22. If I was animal I would be a cat in a good home. They get to be selfish and pampered at once.
23. I wear a lot of red clothes but wouldn't want red paint in my house. I love yellow in houses but hardly own anything yellow in my wardrobe.

24. My favourite films from my childhood are The Goonies and The Labrynth.

25. Horses smell bad. It's the truth. I'm sorry. It was never a childhood dream of mine to have a horse much to the relief of my parents.

Well, there you go. No particular order or importance. Hope you learnt something and/or didn't fall asleep.

Bon dimanche!

YesMan and pleasegodnomoreWoman

2009-01-22T13:48:00.003+01:00

It's been a week since my horrible (but unfortunately reoccuring) experience in a French Office and I'm still none the wiser to how I should sign up for the French test. grrr.

This week is the the first week back after the exam period and i'm exhausted. Genuinely exhausted. I have the same amount of work, but there are loads of timetabling problems and usual issues with organisation which are tiring me out! Thankfully I've been blessed with Thursday pm and Friday off this semester so I'm officially on weekend now although I will be spending much of this time marking exams.

Despite being ready to drop, I went to the cinema last night to see the film remake of my favourite book YesMan by Danny Wallace. Reading this book honestly chanaged my life. I read it in my first year in France, and it really motivated me to make a change in my life and yes, I moved to France permamently. Have a look at this link to get some info on all his books.

I knew the film was likely to be very different, I just hoped they didn't wreck it. Thankfully they completely changed the story to make it very American and after a period of adjustment at the beginning of the film, I did actually like it Very Jim Carrey of ccourse, silly faces, quite crude...but it was fun. My friends and I went for a drink afterwards and I think everyone felt very motivated by the film. Yes, we shall say Yes more often to offers and be more open to life!

I would 1000% reccommend the book if you haven't read it. Danny Wallace is a british comedian who has written a number of books about his life quests. He started a cult by accident and asked everyone to join him, he has explained how to start a new country, he went on a trip around the world with his friend Dave Gorman looking to meet all the other Dave Goreans in the world. He's written about 365 random acts of Kindness (I was once a recipicant to one of these. A random boy in London walked up to me and gave me a flower saying that he thought I'd like it) He wrote about his Yes adventure and most recently he wrote about his quest to find his school friends to see what became of them. I'm reading that one at the moment. The humour is very laugh out loud. When I read YesMan in my local french cafes, I had to often stifle giggles.... Above all, he writes about real things, the human condition - and I can totally relate to it.

YesMan was great. Now I must be a pleasegodnomoreWoman....cup of tea to warm me up and then I'm off to mark yet more exams. It's forcast to be stormy tonight here, at least I won't get bored eh if there's a power cut..... ;o)

If all goes well, I can schedule in some sleep soon, could easily be a YesWoman for this.

Dear France

2009-01-15T17:19:00.002+01:00

Dear France

Why do you make life so hard for the non-french to survive in your country? Not being content in making it near impossible for anyone to get a job without the specific qualification, you are now trying to break me just by trying to find out my French level in order to be allowed to study on of your precious diplomas.

After not having a written reply from the person in charge of French testing, I thought I'd get more luck if I passed by the office to see aforementiond person. I waited very potitely in the office of International affairs. I listened patiently when the staff were busy talking about pregnancies, bank details, cheque books, boots. I was polite when the office staff spent an eternity helping some Frenchies decide what to study when they go abroad. France, when it was my turn, I expected some help, how wrong I was.

I was told that the establishment didn't do French testing. I disagreed. I mean, France, you wrote it on your website. After asking around, low and behold, I was indeed correct. I'm sorry for this, it obviously wasn't a good starting point. I am always wrong, I try to abide by this. Unfotuntately France, I didn't realise that because I wasn't a student, the office could no longer help me. I was direccted somewhere else, quite rudely, with big sighs from the part of the staff for wasting her time. Please France, if I ever pass the exams it took that lady to get her job, can I be as imcompetant and rude as her? I do hope so.

France, what do I have to do to be accepted in your country? I am trying my hardest to understand but it's all too much for me. I am trying to validate my three years of linguistic hell as I didn't study your precious language at university, but it seems I am not even worthy of this validation. Imagine if I decide to go to university to do a diploma allowing me to work in a pet shop? Oh god France, I know you wouldn't know how to cope, pass me round 100 offices, taunting me with 100 incompetant people with their diplomas proving they are worthy in making me suffer.

I will not expect your reply,
yours Madam, Sir, with my distinguished feelings of hate, confusion and frustration.

Miss Emmy